A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Phyllis Diller
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Phyllis Diller
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
Phyllis Diller
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.