Clark: [Clark and Eddie are carrying the chair outside after the cat was electrocuted] You smell something?
Eddie: Fried pussycat.
Clark: [Clark looks down at the jello and sees that it's trimmed with cat food] Aunt Bethany, does your cat eat jello?
Eddie: I don't know about the cat, but *I* sure am enjoying it.
Audrey: [Commenting on sleeping with her brother] I have nightmares about what he does when I'm NOT lying next to him.
Clark: Later dudes! Let 'er rip, hang ten!
Eddie: Don't forget the rubber sheets and gerbils.
Clark: I can't believe you're standing here in my living room, Eddie. Never thought the day would come.
Eddie: Yeah I'm excited about it too.
Mary: These are cut really high in the hip. Look, I'm wearing something similar. See, you can't see the line.
Clark: Can't see the line, can you Russ?
Rusty Griswold: Nope.
[Clark stares at Rusty in shock]
Clark: Ooh the Crunch Enhancer? Yeah, it's a non-nutritive cereal varnish. It's semi-permeable, it's not osmotic, what it does is it coats and seals the flake and prevents the milk from penetrating it.
Clark: Dad, you taught me everything I know about exterior illumination.
Clark Sr.: SQUIRREL!
Clark: I did it
Uncle Lewis: What is that?
Audrey: Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?
Clark: I simply solved the problem. We needed a coffin... Er, a tree. There are no lots open on Christmas Eve. Lewis burned down my tree so I replaced it as best I could. Voilà.
Ellen: Are you okay?
Eddie: [to Clark after they discover that the cat was electrocuted] If that cat had nine lives, he just spent 'em all.
