Men in Black Quotes

Jeebs: [Edwards enters his store] Officer Eduardo! How did these get here? I thought I turned these into the proper authorities.
Jay: Well, the way I hear it Jeebs, you're into something hotter than some stolen Rolexes.
Jeebs: I'm also a huge crack dealer now, but I still work here because I love the hours.

Jay: I'm talking about guns, smart-ass. Weird ones.
Jeebs: Come on, Edwards. What you see is what I got.
Kay: [enters the store] Why don't you show him the imports, Jeebs?
Jeebs: Hiya, Kay. How are you?
Kay: Show him the imports right now!
Jeebs: Yeah... I got

out of that business a long time ago.
Kay: Why do you lie to me Jeebs? I hate it when you lie.
Jeebs: Now, just hold on a second...
Kay: [aims his gun at Jeebs] I'm gonna count to three.
Jay: He'll do it, Jeebs.
Kay: One.
Jay: I'm telling you, that man

does not look stable.
Kay: Two.
Jay: You know what? Talk to me; he... he is just crazy when he's like this
Jeebs: He's always crazy. Why don't you get a message? Take a cruiser...
Kay: Three!
[Blows Jeebs' head off]
Jay: [aims his gun at Kay] Drop the weapon and put your

hands on your head!
Kay: I warned him.
Jay: DROP THE WEAPON!
Kay: You warned him.
Jay: Don't make me kill you.
Jeebs: [as his head grows back, Jay looks in astonishment] You insensitive prick! Do you have any idea how much that stings?
Kay: Show us the

merchandise, or you going to lose another head, Jeebs.
[Jeebs rotates the cases and everything is replaced by alien guns]
Kay: Mr. Edwards?
Jay: Right there... The one in the middle.
Kay: You sold a reverberating carbonizer with mutate capacity to an unlicensed cephalopod! Jeebs, you piece of sh...

Jeebs: He looked alright to me.
Kay: It must have been for an assassination. Who's the target?
Jeebs: You know I don't know.
Kay: [aims his gun at Jeebs' head] GODAMNIT, JEEBS!
Jeebs: I DON'T KNOW!
Kay: All right, let's confiscate it; all of it. And I want you on

the next transport off this rock, or I'm gonna shoot you where it don't grow back.
Jay: [shaken] Yeah, an... and... and I'ma be back t-to talk about them Rolexes.
[he and Jay leave the store]

Jay: Dr. uh... Whatever, come here.
Dr. Weaver: Dr. Whatever? Hey, you guys aren't really from the Department of Health, are you?
Kay: Rosenberg. Aw, damn. The Arquillians are not gonna like this. This guy was one of the royal family.
Dr. Weaver: I knew it. This is an alien, and you guys are from some

government agency trying to keep it under wraps.

Dr. Weaver: [still disoriented from being neuralyzed] Hey, whoever you guys are, you're gonna have to show me some ID if you're gonna be in the morgue.
Kay: Oh, yes, of course, young lady. Have a look at this for me, please.
[neuralyzes her again]
Jay: Would you stop that!
Kay: What?

Jay: That thing is gonna give her brain cancer or something!
Kay: Never hurt her before. Look, we've gotta get all the doors closed around here. Special Services'll be here any minute.
Jay: Never hurt her before? How many times have you flashy-thinged that poor woman?
Kay: Couple.
Jay:

So, what, are you not worried about no long-term damage?
Kay: A little.
Jay: K, have you ever flashy-thinged me?
Kay: No.
Jay: I ain't playing with you, K, have you ever flashy-thinged me?
Kay: No.

Gentle Rosenburg the Arquillian Jeweler: [in alien language] Sorry I'm late. The cab drivers on this planet are terrible.
Arquillian: You Majesty, you are in grave danger.
Gentle Rosenburg the Arquillian Jeweler: Yeah, and they overcharge you every time.
Arquillian: Sir, a bug landed here. We must get you off

the planet.
Gentle Rosenburg the Arquillian Jeweler: A bug? He must know why I'm here.
Arquillian: We think he does.
Arquillian: [looks at the thing on the table] Is that what I think it is?
Gentle Rosenburg the Arquillian Jeweler: No, just some diamonds for your children. Do we have time to eat?

Arquillian: Sure. I ordered you some Pirogi.
Gentle Rosenburg the Arquillian Jeweler: [smiles] Ah!

Arquillian: To the continued reign of the Arquillian Empire.
Gentle Rosenburg the Arquillian Jeweler: To the safety of the Galaxy.
[both drinking a cup of soda, but Edgar appears with serving two Pirogi flavings when a bug was ontop of it]
Gentle Rosenburg the Arquillian Jeweler: [looks up at him] You can kill us both, but you

will not find the Galaxy.
Edgar: Oh. You're right about one thing.
[he pokes on Gentle Rosenburg's neck and pokes at the Arquillian's neck, then steals a thing, throws on a table a cat jumps in then hisses then scares him then walks away]
Dishwasher: You're not going anywhere, pal.
[pushes him and fells off]