Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

[from trailer]
Agent J: Hey man, heck, how old are you?
Young Agent K: Twenty-nine.
Agent J: You got some city miles on you...

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Mr. Wu: That is an Earth fish. Very traditional in China. You arrest me, that's a hate crime!
Agent K: It would be if you were Chinese!

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Boris The Animal: Go ahead, arrest me!
Young Agent K: Not this time.
[blasts Boris]

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Griffin: I lost my world. I don't want you to lose yours. It's only the most infinitesimal of chances, but if it works, it'll be my most favourite moment in human history.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Boris The Animal: What's your plan?
Boris The Animal: Prevent the ArcNet from being deployed. Kill anyone who tries!
Boris The Animal: Good plan - didn't work. With my help we'll get the ArcNet, kill Agent K, the invasion will be successful and we will get to keep both of our...
[sees his younger version staring at his stump]


Boris The Animal: STOP STARING AT IT! Listen...

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Young Agent K: I can see why I recruited you. You're a good man.
Agent J: What the hell happened to you, man?
Young Agent K: I told you, it hasn't happened yet...

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Agent AA: J, everything you told me yesterday, you were right as rain. Thank go for that 10-hour stakeout.
Agent J: Who are you?
Agent AA: Exactly I feel like a whole new man today. Like this great weight has been lifted. I've had these anger issues my entire life, but now I can see I was just mad at myself. And my stepmom.

Agent J: Sir, I'm gonna need you to stop talking.
Agent AA: It's like I closed this emotional window. But I threw a brick through that window, and I just want to thank you for handing me that brick, J.
Agent J: Okay, whoever you are, I'm gonna need you to give me five feet or I gonna pluck you in your throat.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

[from trailer]
Agent J: All right, pay attention...
[neuralyzes a crowd]
Agent J: Okay. You know how you kids won the goldfish in that little baggy at the school fair, and you didn't want that nasty thing in your house so you flushed it down the toilet? Well, this's what happened...
[points to an alien fish towed away]

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Andy Warhol: So what are you doin' on my turf, K?
Young Agent K: Tracking a killer, a Bogladyte. We have reason to believe he's gonna hit here next, Glamourian.
Andy Warhol: Glamourian?
Young Agent K: Mm-hmmm.
Andy Warhol: Right solar system, wrong planet. He's gotta be after the

Arcanian.
Young Agent K: No, Arcanians are extinct...
Andy Warhol: Well, apparently they're not. One washed ashore last week. The whole Roswell circuit's all abuzz about it. Alien unicorn, last of its species. His name's Griffin, Griffin The Arcanian.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

[Griffin shows K and J the future, from his viewpoint]
Agent J: So this is how you see things? This is amazing!
Griffin: It's a gigantic pain in the ass, but it has its moments.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Young Agent K: [neuralyzes young J] There's only one thing you need to know: your father was a hero.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Agent J: I was on my way to my girlfriend's house.
Young Agent K: What's your girlfriend's name?
Agent J: Shh...
[pauses, thinking]
Agent J: Darren.
Young Agent K: Schdarren?

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Agent J: There's no such thing as time travel.
Agent O: Well, there is.
Agent J: No. There's not. Because if there were, a class-one senior agent such as myself would have been made aware of it, wouldn't he have?
Agent O: Were it not classified and way above his pay grade.
Agent J: You

know what? I need a pay raise.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Jeffrey Price: All right. All right. That's a real bummer about your buddy. I'm sure, he was, like, a real great guy, but in terms of the whole space-time continuum, your friend was a little blip on the historical radar!
[Him and J sees the Boglodite invasion on TV]
Jeffrey Price: Oh. That's a big blip.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Agent K: Boris the Animal: I blew off his arm and had him imprisoned at Lunamax. Biggest mistake I ever made.
Agent J: Sorry, man. Was he innocent?
Agent K: I should have killed him!

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

[Z's eulogy]
Agent K: I worked for Zed for over 40 years, and in all that time he never invited me to dinner. Heve never asked to me to his house to watch a game. He never shared a single detail of his personal life. Thank you.
Agent O: Thank you, Agent K. That was very moving.
Agent J: That was your eulogy?

Agent K: He was a good man.
Agent O: Ladies, gentlemen, other life forms, when I told the Felucian Zyglot about Zed's passing, she said something that I'm going to repeat. And I'm paraphrasing. Ahem.
[starts screeching in an alien tongue]
Agent O: That's just so Zed.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Agent J: [about to time-jump] Hey, how come I can remember K but nobody else does?
Jeffrey Price: Whoa, that means you were there!
Agent J: I was where?
Jeffrey Price: If you survive you got to come back and tell me everything okay?
Agent J: Where was I?
Jeffrey

Price: You got to go! Just go, go, go!

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Agent J: Hey, ain't you coming?
Griffin: [falling behind] No, I'm done here. J, as soon as K blows Boris's arm off everything will be back to the way it was, K will not remember anything that happened here.
Agent J: I got it: arm blown off, history's reset. Okay, thanks G!
[goes on ahead]
Griffin: [to

himself] I can never bear to watch this part...

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Boris The Animal: Hello, K.
Agent K: Boris the Animal.
Boris The Animal: [angrily] It's just Boris!
Agent K: You haven't changed very much. I see the arm I shot off is... still shot off.
Boris The Animal: Yes, my arm.
[caresses his pet]
Boris The Animal:

We've thought about that moment every day for the last 40 years.
Agent K: Well, that's just not living a full life.
Boris The Animal: I can promise you it will be longer than yours.
Agent K: Lonelier, too, since you're the last Boglodite standing.
Boris The Animal: We'll see about that. But first, I

wanted the pleasure of killing you...
Agent J: [arrives on the roof] Yo, K.
[Boris starts shooting spikes at J and K, who use the door that Jay came through as a shield]
Agent K: Where the hell have you been?
Agent J: Fishing!
[Boris continues shooting spikes until J and K fall off of the roof]

Boris The Animal: You don't know it, K, but you're already dead.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Agent J: [Neuralizing another crowd of bystanders] Thank you. Okay, you know how your kid won that goldfish in that little baggie from the school fair and you didn't want that nasty thing in your house, so you told your kid it ran away but what you really did was flushed it down the toilet? Well, this is what happens. Okay? Y'know what I'm talking about? Don't lie to your kids.