Jack Byrnes: [about Focker Isle] We have to get out of this place. It is EVIL.
Bernie Focker: You weren't around in the '60's! This is how we got things done!
Roz Focker: Yeah, and now it's up to 50 Fockers.
Jack Byrnes: 50 Fockers. What could be better?
Roz Focker: Well you know, honey, many unplanned pregnancies happen because the man is such a sexual dynamo, and the woman craves his sperm on an unconscious but very powerful level.
Greg Focker: Mm-hmm. Mom, I'm truely not comfortable having this conversation with you.
Roz Focker: Tell me, what's going on with that man of yours?
Dina Byrnes: Well, Jack's always been a little wound up. His job is very stressful.
Roz Focker: Being a florist is stressful?
Dina Byrnes: There's more to it than people think.
Jack Byrnes: [holding up a card of a female nurse, Little Jack laughing] Sorry, Greg. It only comes in one gender.
Bernie Focker: [points to Jack] There's my brother from another mother!
Jack Byrnes: I'm down here... under the bed.
Jack Byrnes: [Greg is cursing around Little Jack] I don't want his first word to be a profanity!
Bernie Focker: It's not about winning or losing. It's about passion. We just wanted him to love what he's doing. Know what I mean, Jack?
Jack Byrnes: Not really, Bernard. I think a competitive drive is the essential key that makes America the only remaining superpower in the world today.
Bernie Focker: Well, whatever works.
Pam Byrnes: Did you tell your mother that I'm pregnant? Because she keeps touching my stomach and smiling like that.
Greg Focker: No, I didn't tell her. She guessed.
Pam Byrnes: She what?
Greg Focker: Yeah, and then she told my dad.
Pam Byrnes: Oh, my God.
Bernie Focker: [hitting toilet with fire extinguisher] I gotta save my dog!
Jack Byrnes: Forget your dog, what about my toilet?
Judge Ira: Bingo, Bango, Bongo!
Roz Focker: The man is loose, he's limber, and he's ready for action.
Roz Focker: You're avoiding confusion by strapping a boob on a man?
Jack Byrnes: Okay we can play 3 on 2, but we'll need someone to be official quarterback.
Bernie Focker: Gay goes both ways.
Jack Byrnes: Oh, I'll bet he does.
Dina Byrnes: Bernie, this frittata is wonderful, what's in it?
Bernie Focker: Well, a lot of the taste comes from this old skillet. I've never washed it.
Roz Focker: Nah, I'm bored. Come on, Dina. You want a Spritzer?
Dina Byrnes: What? Oh, a Spritzer. Sounds yummy.
Dina Byrnes: Muskrat
Dina Byrnes: [after Bernie has destroyed Jack's toilet to save Moses] Jack, he was just trying to save his pet. I mean, what if it had been Jinx who fell in the toilet?
Jack Byrnes: [matter-of-factly] Mr. Jinx has had extensive aquatic training. He would have known exactly what to have done in a submergion.
