Meet the Fockers Quotes

Roz Focker: How's your sex life?
Dina Byrnes: I can't tell you that!
Roz Focker: I'm a professional. Dina, I'm a sex therapist specializing in senior sexuality.
Dina Byrnes: I knew those weren't yoga mats!
Roz Focker: No.
Dina Byrnes: Well, we're not twenty

five... anymore.
Roz Focker: But you're not dead either! Lots of couples our age lack intimacy...
Dina Byrnes: I didn't say we weren't intimate, there are special occasions. Anniversaries and... well, on our anniversary.
Roz Focker: Oy, neesh geete!
Dina Byrnes: What?
Roz Focker:

Not good!

Greg Focker: [to Little Jack] What? You don't like me. I don't like your little red outfit. It makes you look like a little demon baby. Maybe I'll get you a little pitchfork for Christmas, so we can put you on a can of Underwood ham. I'm sorry I can't make little poop sounds and I can't make little things that tell people when I want to do things. But I have a sign for you.

[sticks up middle finger]
Greg Focker: How's that for a sign?

Bernie Focker: At least I'm comfortable enough in my skin to cook for my family. Tell me when was the last time you gave your wife breakfast in bed? When was the last time you gave her anything in bed?
Jack Byrnes: Now you're outta line Focker.
Bernie Focker: No man you are outta line. You hurt my feelings there. There's no reason to

hurt my feelings.
[looks at Greg and points to Jack]
Bernie Focker: He insulted me.

Greg Focker: [singing] And if that mockingbird don't sing, then... Greg is gonna buy you a... diamond ring. And if that diamond ring gets sold, then... Greg is gonna feel like a... big asshole.
Little Jack: ...Asshole!
Greg Focker: [surprised] !... No... oh, no, you don't wanna say that word, cause that's a bad word!

Little Jack: Asshole!

Greg Focker: [about the coach loudspeaker] I like that thing. Hey, mind if I, uh make a little announcement?
Jack Byrnes: Only the captain gets to make an announcement, Greg.
[pause]
Jack Byrnes: You want to honk the horn?
Greg Focker: Um, sure.
Jack Byrnes: Only the captain gets

to honk the horn.

Roz Focker: [giving Jack a Hawaiian massage] You are a caged lion! But lions can't be captive their entire lives. They have to be free to roam the bush. Free and wild! Your wife is a hot sexy tigress and she's waiting for you to pounce on her! Let me hear you roar, baby, roar! Your body is talking to me. It's hungry for action! I can feel it. Unleash the beast inside you, Jack!

Greg Focker: This isn't about you, alright? It's not about either of you. It's about me and Pam. We're getting married. That's it. We're starting our own circle of trust. And guess what.
[points to both of them]
Greg Focker: You're not in it.
Jack Byrnes: You can't start a circle of trust. It's my circle.
Greg

Focker: You know what, you don't have a patent on the circle, Jack. And by the way, you're not even in your own circle right now.
Jack Byrnes: That is untrue! I say who's in or out of the circle!
Bernie Focker: Well I'm confused. Who's circle am I in?
Greg Focker, Jack Byrnes: Nobody's.