I think Ross Noble is the only person that I've seen really storm a stand-up slot at a festival, and that was when he led 3,000 people on a conga out of the tent and across the entire site to a vegetarian food truck.
Never Google yourself. Seriously, don't!
I find it hard to get enthusiastic about hotels because, as a touring comic, I spend a lot of time in them.
If you want something Scottish, go get yourself a kilt.
I spend my jollity on stage, so there is less in my own life.
I realised that to compare your insides with other people's outsides leads to unhappiness.
The most successful comics are always the hardest-working ones.
Jim Henson was an absolute genius.
I went to China for a brief working visit, and I thought that Shanghai was interesting, but Beijing totally grabbed me.
I'm more pompous and self-assured and determined that if - you know - if the truth can be told so as to be understood, it will be believed.
I think it's important never to look yourself up on Wikipedia. I think the temptation to correct any interesting factual errors would be too much.
And much as I enjoy writing and creating stuff, I don't enjoy it so much that I am willing to give up any time that could otherwise be spent performing.
I have an addictive personality. Boarding school merely sent me more quickly on the downward spiral that dominated my childhood.
I became hugely overweight and then hated myself because it was a form of self-abuse, something over which I had no control. I think the thing compulsive over-eaters want to achieve is that stuffed-full Christmas afternoon feeling.
I have a very good memory for scripts. I can watch a show I like once, then remember about 90% of the script. But ask me who was in it, and I wouldn't have a clue.
I'd rather be happy than right.
The basic function of a comic is stand-up because it's so straightforward and simple. If the audience don't laugh, you didn't do your job. I've had some audiences where I didn't care if they laughed or not because they were either too drunk or stupid.
I stumbled on a joke idea and style that worked, the audience went with it and, from that moment on, I was hooked. It's an amazing feeling.
