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Jim Kurring: ...whatever you wanna tell me, whatever you think might scare me, won't... and I will listen... I will be a good listener to you if that's what you want... and you know, you know... I won't judge you... I can do that sometimes, I know, but I won't... I can... listen to you and you shouldn't be scared of scaring me off or anything that you might think I'll think or on

and on and just say it and I'll listen to you...

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Burt Ramsey: You smell like trouble.
Jimmy Gator: I'm fucking hammered, Burt.

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Earl Partridge: What did I do? What did I do? What did I do? Phil, help me, what did I do?

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Aimee Mann: Save me from the ranks of the freaks who suspect that they'll never love anyone.

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Gwenovier: So where are you from originally?
Frank T.J. Mackey: Around here.
Gwenovier: The Valley?
Frank T.J. Mackey: Hollywood, mainly.
Gwenovier: What did your parents do?
Frank T.J. Mackey: My father was in television. My mother... This is going to sound

silly to you.
Gwenovier: Try me.
Frank T.J. Mackey: She was a librarian.
Gwenovier: Why does that sound silly?
Frank T.J. Mackey: I don't know. I guess it doesn't.
Gwenovier: Does your mother still work?
Frank T.J. Mackey: No, she's retired.

Gwenovier: Are you close?
Frank T.J. Mackey: She's my mother.
Gwenovier: Yes, but... she's a woman, too. How does she feel about "Seduce and Destroy"? What does she say?
Frank T.J. Mackey: Well, she says, "You go get 'em, honey."

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[repeated line]
Solomon Solomon: Don't do this, Donnie!

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Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: Have you ever been struck by lightning? It hurts.

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Jim Kurring: Now calm yourself down.
Marcie: [shouts] I am calm!
Jim Kurring: No you are not calm. You're screaming at me. Do you understand? I got a call for disturbance, and I'm going to checking it out. That is what I'm going to do. Are you alone in here?
Marcie: I ain't got to answer none of your

questions.
Jim Kurring: No, you don't, but I'm going to ask you one more time. Are you alone in here?
Marcie: What does it look like?
Jim Kurring: There's no one else in here?
Marcie: You in here.
Jim Kurring: That's true, but is there anyone else besides me and you in this

house?
Marcie: No, I said that already.
Jim Kurring: Are you lying to me?
Marcie: I live by myself.
Jim Kurring: That might be true, but the question I'm asking you, ma'am: is there anyone else in this house right now?
Marcie: No.

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Jimmy Gator: It's in my bones. I'm fucked.

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Claudia Wilson Gator: You're so stupid.
[snorts a line of coke]

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Young Jimmy Gator: [on T.V] Thank you, everyone...

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Jimmy Gator: He looked about 50!