Magnolia Quotes

Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: I'm sick... I'm sick here now. I confuse melancholy with depression sometimes. You see?
Thurston Howell: Why don't you run along now, friend? Your dessert is getting cold.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: I'm sick.
Thurston Howell: Stay that way.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: I'm

sick, and I'm in love.
Thurston Howell: You seem the sort of person who confuses the two.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: That's right! That's the first time you've been right. I confuse the two, and I don't care!
[to Brad]
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: I love you. I love you, and I'm sick. I'll talk to you - I'll talk to you tomorrow.

I'm getting corrective oral surgery tomorrow... for my teeth. I love you, Brad. Brad the bartender. You want to love me back? I'll be good to you. I'll be goddamn good for you. I won't be mad if you don't know who said what. I won't punish you if you get the answer wrong. I can teach you, and tell you...
Thurston Howell: Brad, you have a special secret crush over there, I

think. Don't treat him too lovely. He might get hurt...
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: - You, shut up! Mind your own business!
Thurston Howell: Gently, son!
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: Brad, I know you don't love me now.
Thurston Howell: It's a dangerous thing to confuse children with angels.

Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: Do you know who I am?
Thurston Howell: You're a friend of the family, I presume.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: What does that mean?
Thurston Howell: Nothing special. Just a spoke in the wheel.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: You talk in rhymes and riddles and r-Rub-a-Dub. But

that doesn't mean anything to me. See, I used to be smart. I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith.
[loudly]
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith, from TV.
Thurston Howell: It might have been before my time.
Smiling Peanut Patron #1: I remember. In the Sixties, right?
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: I'm

Quiz Kid Donnie Smith.
Thurston Howell: Like you said.
Smiling Peanut Patron #1: Smart kid! You got struck by lightning once.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: So what?
Smiling Peanut Patron #1: I heard about that.
Smiling Peanut Patron #2: Did it hurt?
Thurston

Howell: But you're all right now. So what's the what?
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: What?
Thurston Howell: That's right.

[Officer Kurring has just handcuffed Marcie to a couch]
Marcie: This is bullshit. This is fuckin' bullshit.
Jim Kurring: I want you to stay right there, Marcie.
Marcie: This is bullshit motherfucker. Mother-goddamn-fucker it's bullshit and you know it!
[Officer Kurring moves down the hall to investigate a disturbance]

Marcie: Don't go down my hallway! Don't go down my motherfuckin' hallway! This is bullshit motherfucker! Don't go in my god damn bedroom!
Jim Kurring: This is the LAPD. If there's someone back here...
Marcie: What I tell you? What I tell you? Ain't nobody in there! Where the fuck you goin' motherfuck? Don't go in my

motherfuckin' bedroom and stay outta my motherfuckin' closet!
[Officer Kurring enters her bedroom]
Jim Kurring: This is the LAPD. If there's someone in this closet, come out right now, or you will be shot.
[Marcie begins dragging the couch towards the bedroom]
Jim Kurring: Marcie! Do not drag that couch any further!

Marcie: There's nobody in my motherfucking closet, motherfucker! This don't make no sense! This don't make no goddamn sense! Why can't you goddamn talk to me? This is bullshit motherfucker!
[Officer Kurring opens the closet and finds a dead body]
Jim Kurring: Whoa! What the hell is this, Marcie?
Marcie: That ain't mine!

Phil Parma: [making an order over the phone] I'd like to get an order of peanut butter, umm, uh, cigarettes, Camel Light, uhh, water...
Pink Dot Girl: Bottled water?
Phil Parma: No. You know what, forget the water. Just give me a loaf of bread. White bread.
Pink Dot Girl: Okay.
Phil

Parma: And, umm, do you have Playboy magazine?
Pink Dot Girl: Yeah.
Phil Parma: Okay, one of those, and uh, Penthouse? The magazine?
Pink Dot Girl: Yeah.
Phil Parma: You have that? Okay uh, one of those, and umm... Hustler?
Pink Dot Girl: Yeah.
Phil

Parma: You have that?
Pink Dot Girl: Yeah, I said. That it?
Phil Parma: Yeah that's it.
Pink Dot Girl: Still want the peanut butter, bread, and cigarettes?
Phil Parma: Yeah. What?

Phil Parma: When was the last time you talked to your son?
Earl Partridge: ...I don't know. Ten, maybe... five... *moans*... that's another thing that goes...
Phil Parma: Your memory?
Earl Partridge: Time lines, you know? I remember things, but not... right there, you know?
Phil Parma:

Yeah.
Earl Partridge: 'Yeah.' The fuck do you know?
Phil Parma: I've seen it before.
Earl Partridge: Yeah, other assholes like me.
Phil Parma: Oh, there's no asshole like you.
Earl Partridge: Cocksucker.
Phil Parma: How come every other word you use is

either 'cocksucker', 'shitballs' or 'fuck'?
Earl Partridge: Do me a personal favor.
Phil Parma: Go fuck myself?
Earl Partridge: Yeah, you got it.

Rose Gator: Say it, Jimmy.
Jimmy Gator: I think she thinks... that I may have... molested her. She thinks terrible things that somehow got into her head... that I may have done. She said that to me last time, when it was... ten years ago, she walked out the door. "You touched me wrong. I know that." Some crazy thought in her head.
Rose

Gator: Did you ever touch her?
Jimmy Gator: I don't know.
Rose Gator: [covers her mouth in disgust] ... Jimmy!...
Jimmy Gator: I don't know. I really don't.
Rose Gator: But you can't say!
Jimmy Gator: I don't know what I've done.
Rose Gator:

[angering] Yes, you do. You do! But you won't say!
Jimmy Gator: I don't know. What? Please? Please.
Rose Gator: You deserve to die alone for what you've done!
Jimmy Gator: I don't know what I've done!
Rose Gator: [beginning to cry] Yes, you do!
Jimmy Gator: Rose, if I said that I

knew, would you stay?
Rose Gator: No!
Jimmy Gator: But I don't know what I've done.
Rose Gator: You should know better!

Jim Kurring: Oh, Lord, why is this happening to me? God, please help me figure this out. I'm lost out here! I don't understand why it's happening. God, please, God!
[sirens]
Jim Kurring: Whatever it is I did, I'm going to fix it. I'm going to do the right thing. Please, help me find the gun! I...
[points his flashlight at the camera as the

sirens get louder]

Jimmy Gator: "Now I'm going to have our three whistlers... uh... please to present the next... um, the... um... musical... there were three... musical sections here, and this'll be the third... the third section... um... and they'll play a piece... it's very recognizable, it's... Chopin, actually... it's taken... it's, it's in the style of "March Militaire", which is a very...

recognizable piece, so... if you please, just... listen to this, and I'm sure you can identify the... um, I'm sort of giving away the answer here, but that's... it's... Chopin... I don't mean to give away the answer... it's... please, just... you know... sing us a ditty, guys... a Chopin ditty."
[collapses]