Soap: What do they say about assumption being the brother of all fuck-ups?
Tom: It's the mother of all fuck-ups, stupid!
Soap: Brother, mother, any other sucker. It don't make any difference. They're still fucking guns and they still fire fucking bullets!
[after shooting each other]
Gary: What the fuck are you doing here?
Barry the Baptist: What the FUCK are YOU doing here?
Barry the Baptist: Hello son, would you like a lolly?
Little Chris: Piss off, you nonce!
Rory Breaker: Get Nick, that greasy wop, shistos, pesevengi, gamouri Greek bastard, if he's stupid enough to still be on this planet.
Winston: Charles, get the rifle out. We're being fucked.
Rory Breaker: What did you shoot him with, an air rifle?
Winston: Look, we grow weed. We're not mercenaries.
Rory Breaker: You don't say.
Rory Breaker: Is this some white cunts joke that black cunts don't get? 'Cause I'm not fucking laughing Nicholas.
John: Jesus, Plank, couldn't you have got smokeless cartridges? I can't see a bloody thi - Ah! Shit! I've been shot!
Dog: I don't fucking believe this! Can everyone stop gettin' shot?
Plank: Ah! They fucking shot me!
Dog: Well, fucking shoot 'em back!
Dog: What the fuck is that?
Mickey: It's me bren gun.
Dog: Couldn't you have thought of something more practical?
[Discussing their careers as marijuana growers]
J: I've a strong suspicion we should have been rocket scientists, or Nobel Peace Prize winners or something.
Charles: Peace Prize? Ooh. Be lucky to find your penis for a piss, the amount you keep smoking.
Soap: A little bit of pain never hurt anybody, if you know what I mean.
Don: I'll fold.
Phil: Fold? Is that the only word you learnt at school?
Don: No, I also learned the word cunt!
Nick the Greek: Just get me a sample.
Tom: No can do.
Nick the Greek: What's that? Some place near Katmandu? Meet me halfway, mate.
Tom: There's no money, there's no weed. It's all been replaced by a pile of corpses.
Soap: You're not funny, Tom. You're fat, and look as though you should be, but you're not.
