Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

Tony Vivaldi: What is this, Benedict? First you're my friend; now you turn a... 360 on me!
Benedict: 180, you stupid, spaghetti-slurping cretin - *180*! If I did a 360, I'd go completely around and end up back where I started!
Tony Vivaldi: What?
Benedict: Trust me!
[shoots him]

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

Dekker: And you promised me you wouldn't tell!
Jack Slater: I didn't.
Dekker: Well, then how did he know?
Danny Madigan: "Jack Slater I".
Dekker: What's winning got to do with this?
Danny Madigan: No. The very first "Jack Slater".
Dekker:

[to Jack] You told your dad?
Jack Slater: I didn't tell anybody! I don't even know this kid!
Dekker: Well, he sure seems to know a lot about us.

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

Jack Slater: [hearing Mozart on the radio] ... Shhh can you turn that up? What is that?
Danny's mom: It's Mozart...
Jack Slater: [looks at Danny and whispers] ... The one Practice killed?
Danny's mom: You like Mozart?
Jack Slater: [smiles] ... I don't know, but I think I will... Wow.


Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

Jack Slater: Stop shouting! I'm not deaf!

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

Jack Slater: Sir, are you a henchman?
Benedict: No, I only go as far as lackey.

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

The Mayor: Jack, as mayor of this great metropolis, you and I have had our little tiffs, but this is the Lieutenant Governor.
Lt. Governor: Slater, here's what I...
Jack Slater: [breaks the Lieutenant Governor's nose] When the Governor gets here, call me.

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

Death: [to Danny] You're very brave. But also not very bright. If I were you, I'd be looking for the other half of the ticket.

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

Ripper's Agent: Did Nicholson show up for the premiere of "Batman" dressed as the Joker? I don't THINK so!

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

Danny Madigan: Wait a second. Where you going?
Jack Slater: I'll be back!
[pause]
Jack Slater: Ha! You didn't know I was gonna say that, did you?
Danny Madigan: That's what you always say?
Jack Slater: I do?
[sigh]
Danny Madigan: Everyone keeps

keeps waiting for you to work it in. It's kind of like your calling card.

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

Jack Slater: [to Dekker] Put a sock in it. I don't care who does what to your Hersey highway. And stop shouting! I'm not deaf! You know why you're shouting? Because it's in the script. You're the comic relief. Yes. And you know what else? I am the hero. So SHUT UP!

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

Dekker: You suck the blood outta cottonpickin' toes I can take from you! I got the California Raisins cast is doing an all-male version of The Diary of Anne Frank doing the all-male version in my frizza sibba! Tiny Tim has stepped onto a totem, so what? You ball peen jackameenis, I'll slap the mouth-outtall the cocksuckin' tales I can take from you! Fridda feen? You know, you take

the mayor in the library bush; you're never gonna azizza bazizzes down at the beach; go down to the beaches, y'know? You take the chicken out the bag and stick it UP!

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

Whitney Slater: FREEZE! Lose the guns or I redecorate in brain-matter grey, got it?

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

[repeated line]
Dekker: Slater!

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

Benedict: If God was a villain, he'd be me.

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

James Belushi: I'm not really a big fan of Arnold's... She is, you know... Arnold really turns her on and I just want to be there when it happens.

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

[Playing "Chicken" riding a bike]
Danny Madigan: This is gonna work. It's a movie, I'm a good guy. This has got to work!
[Danny thinks again]
Danny Madigan: I'm a comedy sidekick. Oh, shit! I'm a comedy sidekick! IT'S NOT GONNA WORK!

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

Benedict: Here, in this world, the bad guys can win!

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

Jack Slater: Did you make a movie mistake? You forgot to reload the damn gun.
Benedict: No, Jack. I just left one chamber empty.

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

Jack Slater: Let's say this is a movie. How many times have you heard someone say, "stay in the car," and the guy doesn't? What happens?
Danny Madigan: He saves the day.
Jack Slater: Or, gets killed!

Last Action Hero
Last Action Hero

Danny Madigan: [Slater prepares to jump out a window in pursuit of Benedict] Jack, where are you going?
Jack Slater: [referring to Benedict and his ever-changing glass eye] Got to catch the red-eye!