Last Action Hero Quotes

Ripper: Jack, what kept you? Andy here's been getting nervous. I promised him you'd come. Gave him my word of honor he could watch you die. Lose the cannon.
Jack Slater: Has he hurt you Andrew?
Ripper: Hurt, Jack? You say hurt? What do you know about hurt, Jack? You put me in a cage for ten years.
Jack Slater:

You should've gotten the death penalty.
Ripper: Yeah, shoulda, woulda, coulda, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Things crawling around on your head. Sitting on my chest when I wake up. You know what that's like, Jack? It was your illegal search, that rendered the bloody axe admissible. Remember, Jack? Now lose the gun.
[Jack puts his gun on the ground]
Jack

Slater: Alright, I'm unarmed.
Ripper: Just one gun, Jack? You gotta be kidding.
[Jack removes nearly a dozen guns]
Ripper: That all, sport?
Jack Slater: Yup, that about does it.
[pulls out grenade]
Jack Slater: Oh, unless you consider this a weapon.
[throws grenade at

Ripper's feet]
Ripper: Brilliant, brilliant, Jack. I surrender.
Jack Slater: It's a live grenade.
Ripper: Yeah right, Jack, right right right. You're gonna sacrifice your own child to get to me. I'm very flattered, Jack, but I doubt it. Andy, pick up the grenade.
[Andy slowly picks up the grenade]

Ripper: Come on. Show it to me. That's good. Jack, that toy, can't hurt the boy.
[flashes Axe]
Ripper: But this one can.

Ripper: Hey, Jack. What kept you?
Jack Slater: Are you alright, Danny?
Danny Madigan: Yes, sir.
Ripper: You know, I tried to change, Jack. I really tried to do what he told me to do. You know, but I kept hearing that old music. That's how I knew you'd come, Jack. Now lose the piece.
[throws gun off the

roof]
Jack Slater: There, it's now it's between you and me. Now let the boy go.
Ripper: Now we've played this number before haven't we, Jack? Let's see, what comes next. You t - you throw the gun away. Right... we did that part.
[mock laughter, puts down axe]
Ripper: Then, you tell me to let the kid go. Ah, I'm getting

bored, why don't we just skip to the end?
[throws Danny over the ledge]

Danny Madigan: Benedict! If you harm a hair on her head...
Benedict: Stop!
[Pulls one strand of Whitney's hair, presents it to Danny, and snaps it in two]
Benedict: You were saying?
[Pulls up a chair]
Benedict: Now, I believe it was Sherlock Holmes who said, "If you eliminate all logical

solutions to a problem - all illogical solutions, however unlikely, become inevitably true." See, I know that your name is Daniel Madigan. What I don't know is how you know mine?
Danny Madigan: Slater showed me some mugshots. We made your face easy.
Benedict: Daniel Madigan from New York. A long way from home, aren't you. When did you get here?

Danny Madigan: Just.
Benedict: And how do you know what I said on Vivaldi's terrace?
Danny Madigan: I heard it in a recording.
Benedict: Microphones in the statues, are there?
Danny Madigan: You wouldn't believe how many.
Benedict: And the eye I was wearing?

Danny Madigan: I saw it. I saw it in a movie. There were micro-cameras in the statues.
Benedict: I should tell you, that I have killed people smarter and younger than you.

Danny Madigan: The house looked European, like maybe if you get a postcard from Italy or something. Like that one. In fact, just like that one! The bad guys are in there!
Jack Slater: You know something? I think you should be wearing this.
Danny Madigan: I don't think I've earned it yet.
Jack Slater: You don't

understand. You just solved the entire case. you just revolutionized the entire history of police training. I mean all these years at the academy, studying human character, psyche of the terrorists, fingerprint analysis, all the courses that I've taken in surveillance, hostage negotiation, and criminal psychology, when all I have to do is drive around the neighborhood, point my finger at a house,

and say, "the bad guys are in there!"?
Danny Madigan: You think you're funny, don't you?
Jack Slater: I know I am. I'm the famous comedian, Arnold Braunschweiger.
Jack Slater: Schwarzenegger!
Jack Slater: Gesundheit.

[When danny comes home with Jack at 4 a.m]
Danny's mom: Where have you been? The police called. You're not here. You're not there.
Danny Madigan: Mom, I'm sorry, okay. Shh.
Danny's mom: " Okay, shh?" There are 9 million kids out there with guns and that's all you have to say to me? "Okay, shh?" Will you get in here?

Danny Madigan: Mom? You know how you always say you wish I had more friends? Well.
Jack Slater: Hello Mrs. Madigan. Arnold Braunshweiger.