Kindergarten Cop Quotes

[Kimble knocks out two gang members with ease, then turns to two others standing by his car]
Detective John Kimble: Oh, excuse me. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is John Kimble...
[racks shotgun]
Detective John Kimble: And I love my car!
Street Tough #3: Yo, man, I'm just gonna keep a eye on it for you, all

right?
Street Tough #4: You got a beautiful ride.
[as soon as Kimble is out of hearing range]
Street Tough #3: Shit. Who he think he is? He's lucky I didn't kick his ass.

Zach's Father: You must be the new teacher.
[offers to shake Kimble's hand, but Kimble pushes him against his car]
Detective John Kimble: You hit a kid, I hit you.
Zach's Father: You bastard.
[the man tries to hit Kimble but Kimble blocks the hit, then Kimble punches him in the stomach, grabs him by the shirt about to

punch him in the face, but looks back to see the kids and the principal]
Detective John Kimble: [lets go of him] You're not worth it. I'm pressing charges against you.

Eleanor Crisp: [enters locker room, where she finds and unloads Kimble's gun, and also finds her dead son's bullet-ridden body and Kimble slumped and bleeding on floor against the shower wall] Where's my grandson?
Detective John Kimble: [gasping] I don't know.
Eleanor Crisp: [Eleanor fires gun into wall, just inches above Kimble's

head, hissing] Where's my grandson?
Detective John Kimble: [gasping continues] Go to hell!
[Eleanor fires gun into wall again, just inches above Kimble's head, Phoebe enters the locker room and sees that Eleanor is going to shoot Kimble]
Eleanor Crisp: That's where you're going, you son of a bitch!
[moves towards Kimble and taking aim

with pistol, suddenly accosted by an injured and bat-wielding Phoebe, who strikes her in the shoulder and knocks her to the floor]
Phoebe: You're not so tough without your car, are you?

Miss Schlowski: Your teacher, Miss O'Hara, had to go somewhere.
Dominic: Where'd she go?
Miss Schlowski: That doesn't matter.
Lowell: Did she die?
Miss Schlowski: No, Lowell, she went to see someone.
Lowell: Did they die?
Miss Schlowski:

*No*, Lowell.
Lowell: Everyone dies, you know.

[Kimble is searching the evacuated school for Crisp. Hearing something, he bursts in a door, pointing his gun]
Detective John Kimble: Freeze!
Kissing Boy: AAH!
[It turns out to be a teenage kid making out with his girlfriend - making it the second time Kimble's burst in on such a situation with his gun]
Detective John

Kimble: [extremely annoyed] Don't you know the building is on fire?
Kissing Boy: We-we thought it was just another drill.
Detective John Kimble: Well, get out!
Kissing Boy: Yes, sir!
[they run]

[Crisp's mother is buying a heap of pediatric medication]
Cullen Crisp: The boy's not sick.
Eleanor Crisp: Doesn't hurt to take precautions.
Cullen Crisp: Mother, you are going to make him sick. You stuffed all this crap down my throat for years, and there was nothing wrong with me!
Eleanor Crisp:

That's why there was nothing wrong with you.
Cullen Crisp: Now, how can you argue with that?

[after his first day, John comes back and collapses on his bed]
Phoebe O'Hara: How'd it go?
Detective John Kimble: Go away.
Phoebe O'Hara: That well, huh?
Detective John Kimble: You take over tomorrow.
Phoebe O'Hara: And blow our cover? Can't do it.
Detective John

Kimble: They're horrible. They're like little terrorists.
Phoebe O'Hara: Tell me about it.

Cullen Crisp: [holding Dominic at gunpoint] Kimble!
Detective John Kimble: He's not your hostage; he's your son.
Cullen Crisp: Drop it. On the floor.
Detective John Kimble: You want to do this to your own son?
Cullen Crisp: Drop it. I'm losing it. Hurry.
Detective John

Kimble: [puts his gun down] Okay. Now let him go.
Cullen Crisp: The boy is mine. He's *my* boy. You get your own goddamn family!
[Kimble's ferret bites Cullen's neck, then Kimble shoots him dead]

Joyce: Cullen.
Cullen Crisp: [holding Dominic hostage] Rachael. Good, just what I need.
Joyce: Please, Cullen, let him go.
Cullen Crisp: How the hell you get out of here?
Joyce: Stop. You're scaring him!
Cullen Crisp: He's scared? Of course he's scared. You told

him all these lies about me, my son doesn't even know me because of you.
Joyce: Please, please, don't do this.
Cullen Crisp: I'm his father. You stole him from me.
Joyce: Please, let him go.
[reaches for Dominic]
Cullen Crisp: Don't touch him!
[punches Joyce in the face; Dominic screams

and runs away]
Cullen Crisp: Dominic, I didn't want to. She made me do it. Everything's gonna be okay, Dominic. We'll start a whole new family.