The last thing I want to do is get too happy.
My mom says that she caught me one day in front of the TV watching opera. I was trying to sing back the opera. She saw that I really liked music, and so she put me in piano lessons when I was about three years old.
If you consume something that's poisonous, you don't consciously think of vomiting; your body just does it. It's a reflex. When I'm happy, I don't instantly feel the need to get rid of that feeling. But when I'm sad, I think maybe that's what happens.
I think of legacy: I want plaques on the wall. I want a farm for my dad. I want an orphanage, preferably two, named after my mother. I want to positively and tangibly help the lives of millions of people and die a legend.
I feel like my objective in music is to take a hammer and nail and chip away a piece of my heart and give it to someone, so I feel, with merch, it's a tangible parallel of that.
Me personally, I have a small circle. Part of that is because sometimes, you meet people, and you can feel the synthetic energy.