I think it has helped that I am so curious about what has been happening to me and that I have enjoyed watching the changes through my life, you know? I didn't know what was going to happen to me next.
My dad was a stickler for teaching me the pratfall. There is something magical about taking a good fall, and when it works, when you get that laugh, there's no better feeling in the world.
When I get an idea, I start to write like I was electrically motivated.
I like to watch all those shows that shouldn't be on the air - reality shows.
I want to know why the government of this country can't take care of the people who are keeping us safe?
I don't like any female comedians.
My God, the stage is the only place I know where to go.
When you get a question like, 'Did you like meeting Her Majesty?' 'No, I thought she was a slob.' I mean, what are you going to say... The mischief comes into me when I'm doing a Q&A, I'm 9 years old again. I don't get mad. I do get offended.
I believe when you go out there, you have a responsibility to deliver. I have old-fashioned thinking when I'm out there.
Adrenaline is so strong that none of us understand it.
I started as a writer. I had the dumb act, but I made my living from writing.
If I was performing, I had no pain. But you can't stay on stage 24 hours a day.
I will not say anything negative about the president of the United States. I don't do that. And I don't allow my children to do that.
The beauty of love, as far as I'm concerned, is it makes you better. It makes you stronger. It gives you direction. It gives you understanding of what life is and what we've been given.
I'm really, basically, nine, and I've always been that. I've never, ever allowed the child within me to die.
For a comic to put a public performance in jeopardy for a snickering little laugh - no, no, no, I don't believe in it.
I think so much in time. I always have. Even at 20, I thought in terms of time, that I don't have a lot of time left. And I want to do so many things.
The people at Columbia Pictures have been great, but I had to tell them, 'Please don't be nice to me. Just pay me.'
A wonderful thing happens over time. You fall in love with the sound of your own voice.
What happens at 90 is that I don't walk so good, my eyes are going, I can't hear well, and I'm getting all of the 90s residuals.
