Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Ben Affleck: [ready to act but haven't heard "Action"] So? Action, Gus or what?
Gus Van Sant: Christ, Ben, I said I'm busy.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

[regarding the Bluntman and Chronic movie]
Randal Graves: That was definitely worse than "Clash of the Titans."
Dante Hicks: I can't believe Judi Dench played me.
Randal Graves: Remind me to renew that restraining order.
Dante Hicks: Why?
Randal Graves: Because I'm going to blast

that flick on the internet tonight.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Whillenholly: The C.L.I.T. is an offshoot of the L.A.B.I.A.
Reg Hartner: Oh, you mean the Liberate Apes Before Imprisoning Apes movement?

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Jay: Why do they call you Cock-Knocker?
Cock-Knocker: Actually, there's a funny story behind that. Ha, ha, you're gonna love this. True story!
[punches Jay in the crotch]

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Jay: What's twistin' this bitches tit?
Justice: Maybe it's because girls don't like to be called bitches, Jay.
Jay: They don't? How 'bout "fine piece of ass"?
Justice: How about not.
Jay: Then what the fuck am I supposed to call you?
Justice: Something sweet, ya

big goof. Something nice.
Jay: Boo boo kitty fuck?
Justice: That's... a start.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

[last lines]
Jay: [clears throat] And I'll be, like, "What, you don't know fuckin' Jay and Silent Bob? The fuckin' mack daddys of fuckin' Jersey?" And she'll be, like, "Oh, I've read on the Internet that you's guys are a couple of little
[emphatically to Silent Bob]
Jay: fuckholes!"
[both laugh]

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Jay: So your in this for the pussy right?
Brent: No, I'm in this because I LOOOVE animals, stupid?
Jay: Even Sheep?
Brent: Of course. Sheep are beautiful creatures.
Jay: So would you fuck a sheep?
Brent: What is your damage, little boy. You have a sick and

twisted world perspective.
Jay: No, you're misunderstaning me, Prince Valiant. I'm saying if you were a sheep, would you fuck a sheep, if you were another sheep?
Brent: Well, in that case, you bet your sweet ass I would.
Jay: Thought so.
[Yelling]
Jay: Yo, this motherfucker ain't one of us. He

said he'd fuck a sheep!
Brent: No! No! No!
Jay: [Throws Brent out the door of the van, flips him off as he's looking out the door as they're still driving] WHO'S STUPID NOW, DIRTY SHEEP FUCKER!

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Banky: Uh, Chaka? Hi, I'm Banky Edwards, the creator of "Bluntman and Chronic." We met a few weeks back, I'm the executive producer.
Chaka: Oh, you're the executive producer. Well, why don't you executive produce me a latte - De-Crackernated. Okay, Fucky?
Banky: Actually, it's Banky.
Chaka: No, it is Fucky.


Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Jay: Yo lunchbox, hurry it up.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Jay: In a world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, but the monkey will spank us.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Jay: Don't you never say an unkind word about the Time! Me and Silent Bob modeled our whole fucking lives around Morris Day and Jerome. I'm a smooth pimp who loves the pussy. And Tubby here is my black man servant. What?

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

[the C.L.I.T. is being discussed on TV]
Holden: Nights like this... I miss dating a lesbian.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

[Bluntman and Cock-Knocker are fighting with bongsabers]
Chaka: I think George Lucas gonna sue somebody.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Holden: Well, look at these morose motherfuckers right here. Looks like somebody shit in their cereal... Bong.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Devil Jay: [appears out of nowhere] Mua-ha-ha-ha! Man, what the fuck are you waiting for? She went for the set up. Reach in your pants and pull your cock out, bitch! Girls like that kinda shit.
Devil Jay 2: [appears out of nowhere] Mua-ha-ha-ha! Right about here is where the angel's supposed to show up and tell you NOT to pull your dick out, but we

bitch-slapped that motherfucker and send him packing, so it's smooth sailing. Let it rip boy...
[Both devils disappear]
Angel Jay: [with a black eye, appears out of nowhere and singing] Jesus loves the little children...
[Stops singing]
Angel Jay: Oh sorry I'm late. So what's the deal here?
[looks down at Jay's erection]

Angel Jay: Oh shit! Don't tell me your thinking of whipping your dick at that fine piece of woman, are you?
[Jay nods. Angel slaps Jay with his harp]
Angel Jay: Tell you what... Look over at Silent Bob and see if he thinks that a good idea to whip your dick out.
[Jay looks at Silent Bob with a questioning look. Silent Bob shakes his head]

Angel Jay: That's it boy, put the dick down. You gotta go from the heart, yo. No little perv-bullshit's gonna work for this one. Be smooth. Be Don Juan de la Nooch. Now I gotta beat the shit out of those punch-sucker little bitches. Remember: Don't pull your dick out 'till she asks, or until she's sleeping. BOOOONG...
[disappears]

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Jay: So, you think I could get a little kiss for good luck?
[Justice kisses him passionately]
Jay: Think I could get a little blow job for good luck?
Justice: No. Go.
Jay: Fuck.
[Silent Bob tries to get a good luck of his own]
Jay: Get off my Kool-Aid motherfucka!

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Assistant Director(GWH 2): Okay, you two. Just stand there, and react. Don't say anything!
[Points to Silent Bob]
Assistant Director(GWH 2): Especially you.
Jay: [to Silent Bob] That's pretty funny.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

James Van Der Beek: [about "Dawson's Creek"] You actually watch that show?
Jay: Yeah, for Joey, man. She is too fine. Did you ever get to 3rd base with her?
James Van Der Beek: Well, actually there was this one time...

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Sissy: Shut the fuck up, before I shoot you where you stand in your pansy red booties.
Jay: [Looks down] I *AM* wearing pansy red booties
[Looks at Silent Bob]
Jay: Why the fuck didn't you tell me?

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Missy: Oh my god, he just called Sissy 'Juggs'.
Chrissy: I'm on it.
[pulls out knife]
Jay: What's with the knife, we havin' cake or something?
Chrissy: Great, he's retarded to boot.
Jay: [to Silent Bob] Dude, she called you retarded.