Adam: Why do you waste your time with that second-life bullshit? Look at you. You're still in jail. You were in jail last week.
Jacob: Yeah, I'm a prisoner. It's called "doing hard time".
Adam: Can't you be like a warrior or shaman or orc or some shit like that?
Nick: [upon seeing their hotel for the first time in years] Muthafucka.
Rick: Get him a body bag, Blaine!
Adam: Why don't you do something out of the house this weekend?
Jacob: What should I do out of the house this weekend Uncle Adam?
Adam: Something in the course of reality, get a job, go to college.
Jacob: That all sounds overrated.
Blaine: You know how everyone has that friend who's an idiot? He's our idiot.
Adam, Nick: Ko... di... ak...
Lou: ...Valley! Fuckin' K-Vals!
Young Adam: [to Jenny, as Adam flashes back] It's not you, it's me.
[Jenny stabs Young Adam in right eye with plastic fork]
Young Adam: Ah!
Jacob: You don't think it's a little weird, a bunch of guys just piling up in a big bathtub together, naked?
Nick: I feel 19 again!
Adam: By all counts we should be pretty fucked up right now, but I - I kind of feel great.
Nick: I feel crazy right now.
Lou: I feel fantastic! I wanna *fuck* somethin'!
Jacob: Shit! This is the black diamond?
Adam: Terrifying.
Lou: That's all you got?
Nick: I don't remember this.
Lou: Tips down. Tips fuckin' down! Right away. Let's ride.
Lou: This shirt got me so much fucking pussy.
Jacob: Wait. How is this happening? Can we talk about this for a minute?
Adam: [picks up a flyer] Holy fuck! Winterfest '86. We were here, man. We are here! What if we run into ourselves?
Adam: I knew this trip was a bad idea. Every time I hang out with you, man, it's some kind of shit storm. I got guilted into coming on this trip and now I'm back in the fuckin' '80s. And I hate this decade!
Repairman: I thought maybe I could pull the part from one of the other tubs. But it turns out this is a very special model that you have here. You've got to be very careful, I tell you. One little thing is changed, the whole system can go haywire. Do you understand what I'm saying? The whole system can go haywire if you change one little thing.
Nick: You know what's going on here, don't you, old man?
Repairman: Yes, I do. Your tub is on the fritz. It'd behoove you to fix it.
Lou: Wow! I don't remember her being that fucking beautiful.
Nick: And tight. She's so tight.
Lou: She's really fuckin' tight!
Jacob: One, two, three...
Jacob, Lou, Adam, Nick: Hot tub time machine!
Jacob: It felt good. Admit it.
