The cosmos is about the smallest hole that a man can hide his head in.
Half a truth is better than no politics.
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
Compromise used to mean that half a loaf was better than no bread. Among modern statesmen it really seems to mean that half a loaf; is better than a whole loaf.
Women prefer to talk in twos, while men prefer to talk in threes.
The man who throws a bomb is an artist, because he prefers a great moment to everything.
It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.
Fable is more historical than fact, because fact tells us about one man and fable tells us about a million men.
If you do not understand a man you cannot crush him. And if you do understand him, very probably you will not.
The most dangerous criminal now is the entirely lawless modern philosopher. Compared to him, burglars and bigamists are essentially moral men.
With any recovery from morbidity there must go a certain healthy humiliation.
All conservatism is based upon the idea that if you leave things alone you leave them as they are. But you do not. If you leave a thing alone you leave it to a torrent of change.
Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know.
Buddhism is not a creed, it is a doubt.
In matters of truth the fact that you don't want to publish something is, nine times out of ten, a proof that you ought to publish it.
Science in the modern world has many uses; its chief use, however, is to provide long words to cover the errors of the rich.
The whole order of things is as outrageous as any miracle which could presume to violate it.
The greenhorn is the ultimate victor in everything; it is he that gets the most out of life.
Some men never feel small, but these are the few men who are.
What affects men sharply about a foreign nation is not so much finding or not finding familiar things; it is rather not finding them in the familiar place.
