Dr. Gonzo: You drive. You drive. I think there's something wrong with me.
Raoul Duke: There was only one road back to L.A. - U.S. Interstate 15. Just a flat-out high speed burn through Baker and Barstow and Berdoo. Then onto the Hollywood Freeway, and straight on into frantic oblivion. Safety. Obscurity. Just another freak, in the freak kingdom.
Raoul Duke: There's one thing you should probably understand... *Can you hear me?* Good. I want you to have all the background. This is a very ominous assignment, with overtones of extreme personal danger. I'm a Doctor of Journalism! This is important, goddammit! This is a fucking true story!
Dr. Gonzo: Lucy is an artist. Lucy paints portraits of Barbara Streisand.
Raoul Duke: That bastard isn't gonna get away with this. I mean, what is going on in this country when a scumsucker like that can get away with sandbagging a doctor of journalism? Can you tell me that?
Raoul Duke: Fuck 'im... I'm gonna miss 'im.
Dr. Gonzo: Let me tell you, he was lying to us! I could see it in his eyes.
Raoul Duke: Eyes?
Raoul Duke: Yeah, I know. I'm guilty. I understand that. I knew it was a crime, and I did it anyways. Shit, why argue? I'm a fucking criminal, look at me.
Raoul Duke: [to Carnival Barker] Nothing, I want nothing. Holy moley, holy moley!
Raoul Duke: My attorney understands this concept, despite his racial handicap. But do you?
Hitchhiker: [nodding] Heh heh...
Raoul Duke: [narrating] He said he understood, but I could see in his eyes that he didn't.
[to hitchhiker]
Raoul Duke: He was lying to me!
Raoul Duke: The store was closed, but the salesman said he could wait if we hurry. But we were delayed en route when a stingray in front of us killed a pedestrian.
Dr. Gonzo: [holding a key] Where did this one come from?
Raoul Duke: That's Lacerda's.
Dr. Gonzo: Yeah, yeah. I thought we might need it.
[falls over]
Raoul Duke: What for?
Dr. Gonzo: What for? So we can go up there and blast him out of bed with the fire hose, man!
Raoul Duke: [hallucinating being attacked by lizards] Jesus God almighty, look at that bunch over there man! They've spotted us!
Dr. Gonzo: That's the press table, man.
Raoul Duke: If I were you, I'd leave the Doctor alone until after he's eaten his breakfast because he's a very crude man.
[at absolutely nothing]
Raoul Duke: Jesus God!
Man on Phone in lobby: ...hamburger stand, she's a waitress about 16 years old. They chopped her goddamn head off right there in the parking lot. Then they cut all kinds of holes in her and sucked out the blood. They were after the peneal gland I think. Yeah. Nah, how's ya mama?
Dr. Gonzo: [trying to escape the rotating bar] When's the thing going to stop?
Raoul Duke: Stop?
Dr. Gonzo: Stop it!
Raoul Duke: It's not ever going to stop, man!
Raoul Duke: Eat some reds and try to calm down. Smoke some grass, shoot some fucking smack! Shit man, do whatever you gotta do.
