Dodgeball Quotes

Peter La Fleur: You need some help leaving White?
White Goodman: This doesn't concern you, Lafleur.
Peter La Fleur: Not nearly as much as your hair does, that's for sure, but uh, I believe she asked you to leave.
White Goodman: I get it, you caught the scent of a lesser stag in your nostrils. Pity. I'll let

you have your little moment, LaFleur, 'cause after this tournament, your gym, your life - and your gal - are gonna be mine. To be continued.
[Reaches up to caress her]
Kate Veatch: [Judo-grabs White Goodman and slams his face into the wall, leaving a streak of makeup] You don't get to touch me, ever!
Peter La Fleur: Okay, Romeo, let me help

you up.
White Goodman: Get off of me, don't you touch me! It is over between us, Kate. Nobody makes me bleed my own blood - nobody!

Casino Worker: [a casino worker and a security guard wheels out a huge treasue chest] Here are your winnings, Mr. La Fleur. Congratuations.
Peter La Fleur: Right on time. I appreciate it. Thanks, guys.
White Goodman: [curious with anger] Winnings? What winnings? What winnings? What is that?
Peter La Fleur: Oh, gosh! I totally

forgot to tell you, White. I took the $100,000 bribe you gave me last night and I put on us to win. We were going at fifty to one. Anyone? Top of your head. What's 50 times $100,000?
Owen: $50,000?
Kate Veatch: $5 million! Peter, are you kidding me?
Peter La Fleur: [opens the treasure chest, revealing stacks of cash] Surprise!

Cotton McKnight: Do you believe in unlikelihoods? Average Joe's shocking the dodgeball world and upsetting Globo Gym in the championship match!
Pepper Brooks: Unbelievable!
Cotton McKnight: Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the Pyramids of Egypt, I've even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel.

But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we've witnessed here today!

White Goodman: Stick it in your ear, La Fleur. I wouldn't sell you your gym back for all of King Midas' silver. The gym is mine! So you can take your band of yellow-bellied losers and just crawl on outta here!
Peter La Fleur: You're right, White. I can't make you sell back my gym, so I'll just take your advice and invest in something. Say... the controlling

stake of Globo Gym.
White Goodman: That's preposterous! I'd never allow it.
Kate Veatch: Globo Gym is a publicly-traded company, there's nothing you can do about it.
Peter La Fleur: So, I would control Globo Gym and... everything that Globo Gym owns. Which as of last night is Average Joe's Gym!
[Average Joe's Team

cheering]
Peter La Fleur: I'm your new boss, White.
White Goodman: You can't be my boss! Nobody's my boss! I'm my own boss! I created myself!
Peter La Fleur: You're fired, pal.

White Goodman: This is it, La 'Loser.' You ready for the, whoo, hurricane?
Peter La Fleur: Just don't go cryin' to your mommy when I spank you in front of all these people, White.
White Goodman: You don't go cryin' to your daddy after I wipe it up with your face.
Peter La Fleur: Uh, White?
White

Goodman: Yeah?
Peter La Fleur: You look awful fat in those pants.

White Goodman: Yeah, I hope you're all happy now. Good guy wins, Bad guy loses. Big freaking surprise. I love happy endings. You know, that's the problem with... the American cinema: Can't handle any complexity in it, you know? "Don't make me think, I just wanna be entertained." All right, fine. You want a little something, something for the ride home? Check these boots out for

size.