Coming to America
Coming to America

Prince Akeem: [shouting from the outside fire escape of his apartment in a rough part of Queens, New York] Good morning, my neighbors!
Voice: Hey, fuck you!
Prince Akeem: [blissfully ignorant of what this means] Yes! Yes! Fuck you too!

Coming to America
Coming to America

[while Prince Akeem is getting a bath]
Bather: The royal penis is clean, your Highness.

Coming to America
Coming to America

King Jaffe Joffer: Do not alert him to my presence. I shall deal with him myself.

Coming to America
Coming to America

Cleo McDowell: Look... me and the McDonald's people got this little misunderstanding. See, they're McDonald's... I'm McDowell's. They got the Golden Arches, mine is the Golden Arcs. They got the Big Mac, I got the Big Mick. We both got two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions, but their buns have sesame seeds. My buns have no seeds.

Coming to America
Coming to America

Oha: [singing] She's your Queen-to-be. A Queen-to-be forever. A Queen who'll do whatever his highness desires. She's your Queen-to-be. A vision of perfection. An object of affection to quench your royal fire. Completely free from infection. To be used at your discretion. Waiting only for your direction. Your Queen-to-be.

Coming to America
Coming to America

Saul: [interrupts the end credits] Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait, stop right there. Listen. Stop right there a minute. A man goes into a restaurant. You listenin'? A man goes into a restaurant. He sits down, he's havin' a bowl of soup. He says to the waiter; "Waiter, come taste the soup." Waiter says; "Is there something wrong with the soup?" He says; "Taste the soup." He

says; "Is there something wrong with the soup? Is the soup too hot?" He says; "Will you taste the soup?", "What's wrong is the soup to cold?", "Will you just taste the soup?", "All right, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?", "Ah-ha!"
[chuckles]
Saul: "Ah-ha!"
[he laughs, but no one else does]
Saul: What do you know from funny, ya

bastard?

Coming to America
Coming to America

Prince Akeem: [to hold-up man] It would be wise for you to put the weapon down.
Hold-Up Man: Who the fuck is this asshole?
Prince Akeem: Please refrain from using any further obscenities in the presence of these people.
Hold-Up Man: What?
Prince Akeem: I'm warning you. I will be forced

to thrash you.
Hold-Up Man: *Fuck* you!

Coming to America
Coming to America

Prince Akeem: Sir, did you happen to catch the professional football contest on television last night?
Cleo McDowell: No, I didn't.
Prince Akeem: Oh sir, the Giants of New York took on the Packers of Green Bay. And in the end, the Giants triumphed by kicking an oblong ball made of pigskin through a big "H". It was a most ripping

victory.
Cleo McDowell: Son, I'm only going to tell you this one time.
Prince Akeem: Yes?
Cleo McDowell: If you want to keep working here, stay off the drugs.
Prince Akeem: Yes.

Coming to America
Coming to America

King Jaffe Joffer: Semmi, you have disgraced yourself and you must be punished. You will confine yourself to our royal suite at the Waldorf-Astoria.
[to Oha]
King Jaffe Joffer: And see that he puts on some decent attire.
[to the rose bearers]
King Jaffe Joffer: And I want you to bathe him thoroughly.

Semmi: Oh, thank you, Your Majesty!

Coming to America
Coming to America

Lisa McDowell: So why did you come here?
Prince Akeem: To find something special.
Lisa McDowell: It's a long way to travel.
Prince Akeem: No journey is too great when one finds what he seeks.

Coming to America
Coming to America

Rev. Brown: If lovin' the lord is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Coming to America
Coming to America

Rev. Brown: I got a special treat for ya' this evening, a young man that you all know as Joe the Policeman from the "What's Going Down" episode of "That's My Momma". I want you to put your hands together, and welcome him to the stage. Big round of applauds for Jackson Heights own, Mr. Randy Watson, YES! Randy Watson!

Coming to America
Coming to America

Maurice: Hey, I started out mopping the floor just like you guys. But now... now I'm washing lettuce. Soon I'll be on fries; then the grill. In a year or two, I'll make assistant manager, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in.

Coming to America
Coming to America

Clarence: You must be outta your God-damned mind! Joe Louis the greatest boxer who ever lived. I'll be with you boys in a minute. He was badder than Cassius Clay, he was better than Sugar Ray, he was badder than - who's that new boy? Mike Tyson! Look like a bull dog! He was badder than him too! He'd whip Mike Tyson's ass, he'd whip all their asses!
Saul:

What about Rocky Marciano?
Clarence: Oh, there they go! There they go! Every time I start talking about boxing, a white man gotta pull Rocky Marciano outta their ass! That's they one! That's they one! Rocky Marciano! Rocky Marciano! Lemme tell you something once and for all! Rocky Marciano was good, but compared to Joe Louis, Rocky Marciano ain't shit!

Saul: He beat Joe Louis's ass!
Morris: That's right, he did whip Joe Louis's ass!
Clarence: Joe Louis was seventy-five years old when he fought!
Morris: I don't know how old he was, but he got his ass whooped.
Clarence: Joe Louis had come out of retirement to fight Rocky Marciano! The

man was seventy-six years old! Joe Louis always lied about his age! He lied about his age all the time! One time, Frank Sinatra came in here, and sat in this chair. I say, "Frank, you hang out with Joe Louis. Just between me and you, how old is Joe Louis?" Know what Frank told me? He said "Hey, Joe Louis is a hundred thirty-seven years old." A hundred and thirty-seven years old!

Sweets: Oh, man, you ain't never meet no Frank Sinatra.
Clarence: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! AND FUCK YOU! Who's next?

Coming to America
Coming to America

Rev. Brown: He helped Joshua fight the battle of Jericho, he helped Daniel get out the lion's den, he helped Gilligan get off the island.

Coming to America
Coming to America

King Jaffe Joffer: We've gone to a great deal of trouble to select for you a very fine wife. Since the day she was born, she was taught to walk and speak and think as a queen.
Prince Akeem: But, father, what if I do not love her?
King Jaffe Joffer: It is normal to feel anxiety about meeting your queen.
Queen

Aoleon: When I first met your father, I was terrified.
King Jaffe Joffer: I must admit, I was frightened too.
Queen Aoleon: I was so nervous, I became nauseous. But over the years, I have grown to love your father very much.
King Jaffe Joffer: So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea.

Coming to America
Coming to America

Saul: A man has the right to change his name to vatever he vants to change it to. And if a man vants to be called Muhammad Ali, godammit this is a free country, you should respect his vishes, and call the man Muhammad Ali!
Morris: His mamma call him Clay, imma call him Clay.
Saul: Then you're a putz. All of you are putzes. They

should change the sign outside from My-T-Sharp to 'ze Three Putzes.

Coming to America
Coming to America

King Jaffe Joffer: [entering Akeem's old apartment to find the landlord sitting in a hot tub] You're not Akeem.
Landlord: I know that.
King Jaffe Joffer: [looking at Akeem's employee of the month award from McDowell's] What is this?
Landlord: A photograph.
King Jaffe Joffer: What is

this - McDowell's?
Landlord: It's a place on Queens Boulevard. I think he works there.
King Jaffe Joffer: [outraged] My son works?

Coming to America
Coming to America

Clarence: You know, Sweets, I met Dr. Martin Luther King once.
Sweets: You lyin'. You ain't never met Dr. Martin Luther King.
Clarence: Yeah, I met Dr. Martin Luther King in 1962 in Memphis, Tennessee. I walkin' down the street minding my own business, just walking on. Feelin' good. I walk around the corner, a man walk up, hit me in

my chest, right. I fall on the ground, right. And I look up and it's Dr. Martin Luther King. I said 'Dr. King?' and he said 'Ooops, I thought you were some body else.'
Sweets: Oh man, you lyin'. You ain't never met Martin Luther the King.
Clarence: Knocked the wind out of me, yes he did.
Sweets: No, he didn't.

Clarence: Yes, he did.
Sweets: No, he did not!

Coming to America
Coming to America

Cleo McDowell: What'd you say to my daughter?
King Jaffe Joffer: I told her the truth. That Akeem could not be interested in her.
Queen Aoleon: How can you be so sure?
King Jaffe Joffer: Oh, come now. Our son cannot consort with such a girl.
Cleo McDowell: Hey, now wait a minute!

King Jaffe Joffer: Oha.
[Oha gets out a chequebook]
King Jaffe Joffer: I know you have been inconvenienced and I am prepared to compensate you. Shall we say one million American dollars?
Cleo McDowell: No way.
King Jaffe Joffer: Very well then, two million.
Cleo McDowell: You

haven't got enough money to buy my daughter off.
King Jaffe Joffer: Nonsense!
Queen Aoleon: Jaffe. Apologize to Mr. McDowell.
King Jaffe Joffer: I will do no such thing. The man is beneath me and so is his daughter.
Cleo McDowell: I don't give a damn who you are! This is America, Jack. Now, you say one

more word about Lisa here and I'mma break my foot off in your royal ass!
King Jaffe Joffer: Pardon me?