Jaffe Quotes

King Jaffe Joffer: We've gone to a great deal of trouble to select for you a very fine wife. Since the day she was born, she was taught to walk and speak and think as a queen.
Prince Akeem: But, father, what if I do not love her?
King Jaffe Joffer: It is normal to feel anxiety about meeting your queen.
Queen

Aoleon: When I first met your father, I was terrified.
King Jaffe Joffer: I must admit, I was frightened too.
Queen Aoleon: I was so nervous, I became nauseous. But over the years, I have grown to love your father very much.
King Jaffe Joffer: So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea.

King Jaffe Joffer: Semmi, you have disgraced yourself and you must be punished. You will confine yourself to our royal suite at the Waldorf-Astoria.
[to Oha]
King Jaffe Joffer: And see that he puts on some decent attire.
[to the rose bearers]
King Jaffe Joffer: And I want you to bathe him thoroughly.

Semmi: Oh, thank you, Your Majesty!

King Jaffe Joffer: [entering Akeem's old apartment to find the landlord sitting in a hot tub] You're not Akeem.
Landlord: I know that.
King Jaffe Joffer: [looking at Akeem's employee of the month award from McDowell's] What is this?
Landlord: A photograph.
King Jaffe Joffer: What is

this - McDowell's?
Landlord: It's a place on Queens Boulevard. I think he works there.
King Jaffe Joffer: [outraged] My son works?

[King Jaffe Joffer and his entourage, all elaborately dressed, have come to McDowell's fast food restaurant looking for Akeem]
Maurice: Mr. McDowell?
Cleo McDowell: Yes?
Maurice: There's some people here to see you.
Cleo McDowell: They're not from McDonalds are they?
Maurice: I

don't think so.

King Jaffe Joffer: We shall return to Zamunda at once.
Prince Akeem: I will not leave without Lisa.
Queen Aoleon: So you do care for her?
Prince Akeem: Mother, I love her.
Queen Aoleon: Then go after her.
[Akeem kisses her on the forehead and leaves]
King Jaffe

Joffer: Akeem! Akeem! I forbid you!
Queen Aoleon: Put a sock in it, Jaffe, the boy is in love.

Prince Akeem: But when I marry, I want the woman to love me for who I am, not because of what I am.
King Jaffe Joffer: And who are you?
Prince Akeem: I am a man who has never tied his own shoes before!
King Jaffe Joffer: Wrong. You are a prince who has never tied his shoes. Believe me, I tied my own shoes

once. It is an overrated experience.

King Jaffe Joffer: Time does fly fast, my son. It seems only yesterday I ordered your first diaper changed and now you're a man who's about to be married. She will give you much pleasure, don't you think?
Prince Akeem: I am not sure if I am ready.
King Jaffe Joffer: Son, I know we never had a talk about this but I always assumed that

you had sex with your bathers. I know I do.

Cleo McDowell: What'd you say to my daughter?
King Jaffe Joffer: I told her the truth. That Akeem could not be interested in her.
Queen Aoleon: How can you be so sure?
King Jaffe Joffer: Oh, come now. Our son cannot consort with such a girl.
Cleo McDowell: Hey, now wait a minute!

King Jaffe Joffer: Oha.
[Oha gets out a chequebook]
King Jaffe Joffer: I know you have been inconvenienced and I am prepared to compensate you. Shall we say one million American dollars?
Cleo McDowell: No way.
King Jaffe Joffer: Very well then, two million.
Cleo McDowell: You

haven't got enough money to buy my daughter off.
King Jaffe Joffer: Nonsense!
Queen Aoleon: Jaffe. Apologize to Mr. McDowell.
King Jaffe Joffer: I will do no such thing. The man is beneath me and so is his daughter.
Cleo McDowell: I don't give a damn who you are! This is America, Jack. Now, you say one

more word about Lisa here and I'mma break my foot off in your royal ass!
King Jaffe Joffer: Pardon me?