Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.
I love what's happened to me, but when I was a kid, I wanted to be the president of the United States.
Every now and then I'm in a situation where someone doesn't recognize me, and I experience racism. Things like not being buzzed into a store or sitting in first class on a plane and having someone ask to see my ticket four times.
Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.
Pretty girls have problems too.
America is the greatest country in the whole world.
There's some downsides to being famous, which are not even worth mentioning. But to combat the bad sides of being famous, you really should take advantage of the good sides. The good sides are, you can use that fame to get projects you might not normally get.
The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When you're in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody's paying five grand for a weave, that's a bit much.
I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.
If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.
You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.
I used to hang out with grandfather all the time because he used to pick me up from school sometimes, or drive me to my mother's, so I'd be with my grandfather a lot. I used to watch him write his sermons.
Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.
Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
When I started out in comedy, it was common knowledge that it took about 10 years to get good. And that was okay because it took you about 9 years to get on television.
Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.
Anything I say about women, I try to make sure that at least five or six friends of mine are going through a similar situation. That way I'm not picking on my wife.
