I'm a late-night host that doesn't want to be tied down by time or television or even hosting.
Great guys exist. They may not be in the package you think you like, and they may not come when you feel you deserve them the most, but they're there. I believe it. You should too. Because now I'm with someone who makes me grow every day. His name is Netflix.
I always thought to myself, 'I don't want to be doing stand-up when I'm 40 years old.'
There are some really interesting celebrities and people who are fun to interview, but when you have to do it every day because you have to fill a slot, the allure wears off.
People are following me because they want to see pictures of me. So why is Instagram editing them?
I'm really into the human interest thing. I really like regular people.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are ridiculous-looking - especially her. They're so strange and charismatic and weird. It's pretty hard to take your eyes off them.
Don't think about anything for too long. Even if it's off-the-wall, go for it. You'll have a lot more fun in life.
If you're really looking to hurt somebody's feelings, just break up with them.
In a relationship, the sum of your parts should equal more than just you by yourself. He needs to bring something new and different to the table to up the ante.
I have severe ADD, and I'm constantly looking to amuse myself.
I like the minute when I can get off the stage and go home, and I know I've done a good job.
Once you've achieved success, and you're making decisions that are working, I don't understand why anyone would be second-guessing themselves.
I wanted to be famous. It's embarrassing to admit, but I came out to L.A. thinking it would happen in no time. I thought, 'Once they see me, they'll be so glad I came.' I always had a ridiculous amount of self-confidence about what was going to happen to me.
I want to educate people and deliver news that isn't just surrounded by Charlie Sheen. I'd like to be able to do the serious stuff in conjunction with the comedy.
The next step for me is not 'The Tonight Show.' That's a job for Jimmy Fallon. I'm way too divisive for a show like that.
I've always had a problem with authority. That's why I had to be my own boss.
Can you imagine peaking as a teen? I think if you peak in high school, there's a problem. That's what my sister always said: 'Don't worry, you'll peak later.'
Personally, I'd have a baby just for the epidural.
I think pregnancy is a huge responsibility.
