The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.
We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.
The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'
Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'
President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all.
This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air.
The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.
Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.
I never thought I'd say this: what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush.
Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy land where reality is whatever we say it is and every problem can be solved with violence.
I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.
This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.
What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.
