Birdie: Have you ever heard of the word "union"?
Margo: Behind in your dues? How much?
Birdie: I haven't got a union. I'm slave labor.
Margo: Well?
Birdie: But the wardrobe women have got one, and next to a tenor, a wardrobe woman is the touchiest thing in show business.
Margo: Please don't play governess, Karen. I haven't your unyielding good taste. I wish *I* could have gone to Radcliffe, too, but Father wouldn't hear of it... He needed help behind the notions counter.
Margo: [continues] I'm being rude now, aren't I? Or should I say "ain't I"?
Addison DeWitt: You're maudlin and full of self-pity.
You're magnificent.
Karen: [Eve walks in, carrying the fur coat of a new arrival to Margo's party] Who'd show up at this hour? It's time people went home. Hold that coat up.
Karen: [Eve holds up a luxurious full-length fur coat, Karen lets out a whistle] Whose is it?
Eve: Some Hollywood movie star's. Her plane got in late.
Karen:
Discouraging, isn't it? Women with furs like that where it never even gets cold.
Eve: Hollywood.
[tosses the fur coat on the bed]
Bill Sampson: I can't believe you're making this up. It sounds like something out of an old Clyde Fitch play!
Margo: Clyde Fitch, though you may not think so, was well before my time.
Bill Sampson: I've always denied the legend that you were in "Our American Cousin" the night Lincoln was shot.
Margo: I *don't*
think that's funny!
Karen: [narrating] Newton, they say, thought of gravity by getting hit on the head by an apple. And the man who invented the steam-engine, he was watching a teakettle. But not me. My big idea came to me just sitting on a couch. That boot in the rear to Margo. Heaven knows, she had one coming. From me, from Lloyd, from Eve, Bill, Max and so on. We'd all felt those size fives of
hers often enough. But how? The answer was buzzing around me like a fly. I had it. But I let it go. Screaming and calling names is one thing, but this could mean...
Karen: [continues] Why not? "Why," I said to myself, "not?" It would all seem perfectly legitimate. And only two people in the world would know. Also, the boot would land where it would do the most good for all
concerned. After all, it was no more than a harmless joke which Margo herself would be the first to enjoy. And no reason why she shouldn't be told about it... in time.
Karen: [on the phone, calling Eve to let her in on her little "joke"] Hello. Will you please call Miss Eve Harrington to the phone?
Addison DeWitt: It wasn't a reading, it was a performance. Brilliant! Vivid, something made of music and fire.
Margo: How nice.
Addison DeWitt: In time, she'll be what you are.
Margo: A mass of music and fire. That's me. An old kazoo with some sparklers.
Bill Sampson: I don't agree, Addison.
Addison DeWitt: That happens to be your particular abnormality.