Alice in Wonderland Quotes

Queen of Hearts: Now... are you ready for your sentence?
Alice: Sentence? But there has to be a verdict first...
Queen of Hearts: Sentence first! Verdict afterwards.
Alice: But that just isn't the way...
Queen of Hearts: [shouting] All ways are...!
Alice: ...your

ways, your Majesty.

Queen of Hearts: Now, where do you come from?
Alice: Well, I'm trying to find my way home...
Queen of Hearts: Your way? All ways here are my ways!
Alice: Yes, I know, but I was just thinking...
Queen of Hearts: Curtsy while you're thinking. It saves time.
Alice:

[curtsying] Yes, Your Majesty, but I just wanted to ask you...
Queen of Hearts: I'll ask the questions! Do you play croquet?
Alice: Why, yes, Your Majesty.
Queen of Hearts: Then let the game begin!

White Rabbit: Your Majesty, members of the jury, loyal subjects... and the King... the prisoner at the bar stands accused of enticing Her Majesty, the Queen of Hearts, into a game of croquet, thereby and with malice of forethought, molesting, tormenting, and otherwise annoying our beloved...
Queen of Hearts: Never mind all that! Get to the part where I lose

my temper.
White Rabbit: ...thereby causing the Queen to lose her temper.

[Alice reaches the door to escape from the mob]
Doorknob: [tries to open the door] D'oh! I'm - still locked, you know!
Alice: [in horror] But the queen! I simply *must* get out!
Doorknob: [chuckles] But you *are* outside.
Alice: [releases her grip on the Doorknob] What?
Doorknob:

[opens his mouth] See for yourself.
[Alice sees through his mouth and sees herself asleep with Dinah also sleeping on her lap by a tree in a beautiful meadow]
Alice: Why - why that's me! I'm asleep!
Queen of Hearts: [shouting from a distance, advancing toward Alice along with a mob of other characters] Don't let her get away! Off with her

head!
Alice: [in terror, through the Doorknob's mouth] Alice, wake up! Please, wake up, Alice!
Queen of Hearts: [comes closer with the rest of the mob] Off with her head!
Alice: Alice! Please, wake up, Alice!
[as the mob draws nearer, the screen goes into swirling multicolor until it shows Alice sleeping by the tree]

Alice: [voiceover] Alice! Alice! Alice!
Alice's sister: [changes to her sister's] Alice! Alice! Will you kindly pay attention and recite your lesson?

Alice: [drinks from bottle] Mmm... tastes like cherry tart.
[shrinks down]
Alice: Custard.
[shrinks down]
Alice: Pineapple.
[shrinks down]
Alice: Roast turkey.
[now at minimum size]
Alice: Goodness! What did I do?
Doorknob: [chuckles]

You almost went out like a candle!
Alice: But look, I'm just the right size!
Doorknob: Oh - no use.
[laughs]
Doorknob: I forgot to tell you.
[laughs]
Doorknob: I'm locked!
[laughs]
Alice: Oh, no!
Doorknob: But of course, you've got the

key, so...
Alice: What key?
Doorknob: Now, don't tell me you've left it up there!

[first lines]
Alice's sister: [reading from a history book] "... leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the Earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand..." Alice.
[camera zooms out to show Alice sitting in a tree, playing with Dinah and making a crown of daisies]

Alice: Hmm? Oh, I'm listening.
Alice's sister: "And even Stigand, the archbishop of Canterbury, agreed to meet with William and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was moderate."
[Alice laughs as her daisy crown falls on her sister's face]
Alice's sister: Alice! Will you kindly pay attention to your history

lessons?
Alice: I'm sorry, but how could one possible pay attention to a book with no pictures in it?