101 Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Quotes (2026) #3

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Lois Einhorn: Alright, Ventura. Make it quick.
Ace Ventura: I found a rare stone at the bottom of Snowflake's tank. It belonged to a 1984 AFC Championship ring. It would have been a Super Bowl ring, but Ray Finkle missed the big kick. Blames the whole thing on Marino. We're talking mental institute escapee. I saw the guy's room. Cozy if you're Hannibal

Lecter!

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Ace Ventura: [to Shickadance] Why don't come to take a look inside? C'mon. C'mon!
[he shakes his keys acting like they're stuck. The door opens. Ace enters]
Ace Ventura: Go ahead. Snoop around!
[Mr. Shickadance enters, looks around and sniffs]
Ace Ventura: Well? Are you satisfied?
Mr.

Shickadance: Just don't let me catch you with an animal here, that's all.
Ace Ventura: All right! Take care now! Bye-bye, then!
[slams door in front of Mr. Shickadance's face]
Ace Ventura: L-oser!

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Ace Ventura: [has just finished 'singing' for Cannibal Corpse] I gotta go guys! I gotta date with your mothers!

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

[Ventura knocks on the door]
Woodstock: What's the password?
Ace Ventura: New England clam chowder.
Woodstock: Is that the red or the white?
Ace Ventura: Ah, I can never remember that. White.
[door opens]
Ace Ventura: Yes.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Lois Einhorn: And somebody get me some coffee!
Ace Ventura: Tonight on Miami Vice, Crockett gets the boss some coffee.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

[mimicking Sean Connery]
Ace Ventura: Lovely party. Pity I wasn't invited.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Ace Ventura: Once you get inside my head, there's no turning back baby.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Ronald Camp: [Ace emerges soaking wet] I'm so Sorry Mr. Ace, I'll have the plumbing checked immediately.
Ace Ventura: Well I hope so, had I been drinking out of the toilet, I might have been killed.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

[Melissa is pretending to be Ace's sister to check him into a mental hospital]
Doctor: Has he always had a history of mental illness?
Melissa: [truthfully] For as long as I've known him.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Lois Einhorn: You've done some fine detective work... 'Ace'.
Ace Ventura: I'm sorry. Could you please speak in to my good ear? I thought I heard you call me Ace.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Ace Ventura: That was a close one ladies and gentleman. Unfortunately in every contest, there must be a loser. Loo-hoo-ser-her.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Ace Ventura: Excuse me, Ron, I need to use the bathroom.
[whispering loudly]
Ace Ventura: I think it's the pâté.
Ronald Camp: Sure, right over there.
Ace Ventura: Thanks! Stuff probably looks better on the way out, huh?

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Ronald Camp: I'll have the plumbing checked immediately, Mr. Ace.
Ace Ventura: See that you do. If I'd been drinking out of the toilet, I might've been killed.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Melissa: Ace, Where are you?
Ace Ventura: I'm in Psychoville and Finkle's the Mayor.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

[Lt. Einhorn is pointing a gun at Ace's head]
Ace Ventura: [begging] Please don't kill me. I'll never tell anyone. Kill him, he's the one you want.
Dan Marino: No, no kill him.
Ace Ventura: No kill him. He held the ball wrong, remember? Come on, look at the guy.
[Lt. Einhorne shoots into the air]
Dan

Marino: Cry-baby.
Ace Ventura: Jock.
Dan Marino: Whimp.
Ace Ventura: Muscle-head.
Lois Einhorn: SHUT UP.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Ace Ventura: No problem, it gets flooded, we'll just wait a few seconds.
[suddenly the dog thief appears and smashes the back windshield with a baseball bat]
Ace Ventura: Or we could try it now.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

[Melissa and Ace are reading news clippings about Ray Finkle]
Melissa: "Replacement Kicker Having a Great Year." "Ready For Super Bowl, All-Star Kicker Boasts."
Ace Ventura: "Field Goal Sails Wide. Dolphins Lose Super Bowl."
Melissa: The "Kick Heard Round The World." That was Finkle. The Dolphins lost by one point.
[Ace

lets out an impressed whistle. Melissa flips to the next clipping, with a headline that reads "Finkle Contract Not Renewed."]
Melissa: Poor guy.
Ace Ventura: Poor guy with a motive, baby.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Riddle: I don't give a good goddamn about that fish. Fillet it and fast food it if'ya want'to. All I give a damn about's winning the Super Bowl. My athletes have got to have their heads in the right place. Shit, Roger, you been in this business a long time. You know how superstitious these players are.
[Roger hides his rabbit foot key chain]
Riddle:

I've got a quarterback who puts his socks on backwards. Has since high school. I've got a line backer who has not washed his jockey strap in two years because he thinks flies are lucky.