They're not poodles, they're art.
I used to breed poodles. I liked them because they were fluffy and so cute - and honestly, they make a lot of money when you sell them!
Look, I'm still a goateed guy with a bunch of tattoos, but I've got a poodle and not a pit bull. I don't kick boxes and I don't scream at other people.
Every day I grapple between 'I'm going to get married' and 'I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone with a poodle.'
You can't expect a poodle to guard your house the way a Doberman pinscher does, and you can't expect a Doberman pinscher to jump in your lap the way a poodle does. Some people are just animals of a certain nature, and they are always going to have certain impulses that motivate them.
I have a toy poodle, Shadow. She's a little whippersnapper! And I love little monkeys.
[to himself, crawling above some acoustic ceiling tiles]
Bender: Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...
[the ceiling gives way]
Bender: Oh, *shit*.
David: They're happy like this.
Jennifer: No, David. Nobody's happy in a poodle skirt and a sweater set.
