They very seldom let me lose my cool. They made me like I was Polly Perfect, which was ridiculous so that when I bump into kids on the street they'd say 'I wish my Mom were like you.'
Some of the stage outfits I've got are ridiculous. I'll lay out clothes to pack, and it'll look like Polly Pocket clothing - because it's all stretchy, it's tiny. I don't need a case when I tour; I can fit it all in my handbag.
My favorite toy growing up was Polly Pocket. But one gift that I wanted though never received for Christmas was a pair of trampoline moon shoes. You strap them to your feet and they have springs on them, and you can just jump around!
Harry Dunne: Where did you get those?
Lloyd Christmas: I bought them when we filled up.
Harry Dunne: We are supposed to talk about all expenditures Lloyd! We are on a very tight budget.
Lloyd Christmas: This didn't come out of our travel fund.
Harry Dunne: Oh.
Lloyd
Christmas: Yeah, I was able to raise 25 extra bucks before we left.
Harry Dunne: Where did you get 25 extra becks?
Lloyd Christmas: I sold some stuff, to Billy in 4C.
Harry Dunne: The blind kid?
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah! Ha ha!
[Suddenly feels ashamed]
Lloyd
Christmas: Yeah.
Harry Dunne: What did you sell him Lloyd?
Lloyd Christmas: Stuff.
Harry Dunne: What kinda stuff?
Lloyd Christmas: I don't know, stuff. A few baseball cards, a sack of marbles,
[cough]
Lloyd Christmas: Petey.
Harry Dunne:
Petey? You sold my dead bird to a blind kid? Lloyd! Petey didn't even have a head!
Lloyd Christmas: Harry, I took care of it...
[cuts to shot of Billy's hands stroking the stiff bird with it's head wrapped in scotch tape]
Billy: Pretty bird. Yes, can you say pretty bird? Pretty bird, yeah pretty bird... Polly want a cracker?
Nick Naylor: [Narrating] Polly works for the Moderation Council. A casual drinker by the age of 14, Polly quickly developed a tolerance usually reserved for Irish dockworkers. In our world, she's the woman that got the pope to endorse red wine.
Polly Bailey: [Narrating a section of Heather's article] the M.O.D. squad of course meaning Merchants of Death is comprised of Polly Bailey from the Moderation Council and Bobby Jay Bliss of the gun business's own advisory group S.A.F.E.T.Y. which stands for Society for the Advancement of Firearms and Effective Training for Youth.
Nigel: [jumping onto the cage Blu and Jewel are being held in] Oh, I know I'm not a pretty birdy. But I used to be quite a looker.
[shows them a poster with himself looking dashing on it]
Nigel: A star! Lights. Camera. Action!
[he starts singing]
Nigel: I was striking, suave, ambitious feet to beak, so birdy-licious.
Now I am vile, I am villainous and vicious. Oh! And malicious. I had it all. A TV show, Women too! I was tall, over one foot two! And then they got a pretty parakeet to fill my shoes. That's why I am so evil why I do what I do!
[a chorus of birds starts singing]
Chorus of birds: He was a super star!
Nigel: So young and vital.
Chorus of birds: He's
nasty!
Nigel: A South American Idol!
Chorus of birds: He's a suspicious bird!
Nigel: Who said that about me?
Chorus of birds: A very vicious bird.
Nigel: I'll have you rotisseried! I was the king of telenovelas The envy of all the other fellows. Then I was pushed out for a Pretty Polly parakeet from Paraguay they
called Patricious. Common Paraguayan name.
Chorus of birds: He's a nasty bird!
Nigel: I'm insidious.
Chorus of birds: He's nasty.
Nigel: Oh, I'm hideous!
Chorus of birds: He was a real macaw.
Nigel: I'm a cockatoo!
Chorus of birds: An obscene bird!
Nigel: Yes, that word's
true. I'm a feathery freak, with a beak. A bird murder! You think you're badder than me. I never head of ya. I'm evil. I'll fill your cheese balls with weevils!
[continues his singing to Blu and Jewel]
Nigel: I poop on people and I blame it on seagulls.
[we see a seagull nearby]
Nigel: It was him.
Chorus of birds: He's a nasty
bird!
Nigel: I'm invincible.
Chorus of birds: He's nasty!
Nigel: I'm unminceable. I'm unwashable, Unrinsable. Like an abandoned school I have no principal! All of you Brazilian birds, all 18 million birds, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to make you...
[to the chorus of birds who continue singing]
Nigel: Shut up now, shut up!
[the chorus of birds stop singing]
Nigel: It's just me. I will make you ugly too. Did you hear how dramatic that was, with the end?
[laughs wickedly and flies away]
Blu: Not cool, man! Scary, but not cool!