Ahmed Quotes

Debbie: I painstakingly combed through everything in the system and found this. It's him. He was one of ten names on a watchlist sent to us by the Moroccans after 9/11. Ibrahim Sayeed. They told us to watch out for him. Apparently, they think his whole family and extended family is bad and has ties to KSM. He was picked up for fake papers and a doctored exit visa leaving

Afghanistan, traveling through Morocco en route to Kuwait. Abu Ahmed al-Kuwaiti. This must be Abu Ahmed.
Maya: Doesn't matter, but I wish I had that five years ago. How come I never saw it before?
Debbie: Nobody saw it, most likely. There was a lot of white noise after 9/11, countries wanting to help out. We got a million tips and, you know, things

got lost in the shuffle. Human error. Anyway, I thought you should know about it.

Maya: Dan, Debbie found Abu Ahmed.
Dan: Really?
Maya: Yeah. He's been in the files this whole time. The family's named Sayeed.
Dan: Okay, but he's, uh, he's dead, so doesn't that make him a little less interesting to you?
Maya: He may not be. We now know Abu Ahmed is one of eight

brothers. All the brothers in the family look alike. Three of them went to Afghanistan. Isn't it possible that when the three eldest brothers grew beards in Afghanistan, they started to look alike? I think the one calling himself Abu Ahmed is still alive. The picture we've been using is wrong. It's of his older brother, Habeeb. He's the one that's dead.
Dan: Okay, and what

are you basing this on?
Maya: We have no intercepts about Abu Ahmed dying, we just have a detainee who said he buried a guy who looked like Abu Ahmed. But if someone as important as Abu Ahmed had died, they'd be talking about it online in chat rooms all over the place. Plus, the detainee said that Habeeb died in 2001. We know Abu Ahmed was alive then, trying to get into

Tora Bora with Ammar. That means it's probably one of the other brothers that's dead.
Dan: In other words, you want it to be true.
Maya: Yes, I fucking want it to be true!
Dan: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down. Calm down.
Maya: I am calm.

Laureen Hobbs: Don't fuck with my distribution costs! I'm making a lousy two-fifteen per segment and I'm already deficiting twenty-five grand a week with Metro! I'm paying William Morris ten percent off the top, and I'm giving this turkey ten thou per segment, and another five to this fruitcake! And Helen, don't start no shit about a piece again! I'm paying Metro twenty-thousand

for all foreign and Canadian distribution, and that's after recoupment! The Communist Party's not gonna see a nickel of this goddamn show until we go into syndication!
Helen Miggs: C'mon Laureen. The party's in for seventy-five hundred a week of the production expenses.
Laureen Hobbs: I'm not giving this pseudoinsurrectionary sedentarian a piece of

my show! I'm not giving him script approval, and I sure as shit ain't gotten him into my distribution charges!
Mary Ann Gifford: [screaming] You fucking fascist! Did you see the film we made of the San Marino jail breakout, demonstrating the rising up of the seminal prisoner class infrastructure?
Laureen Hobbs: You can blow the seminal prisoner class

infrastructure out your ass! I'm not knockin' down my goddamn distribution charges!
Great Ahmed Kahn: [fires off his gun through the ceiling] Man, give her the FUCKING overhead clause. Let's get back to page twenty-two, number 5, small 'a'. Subsidiary rights.