Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

We have a choice - we can both think and feel, using our heads and our hearts.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

I have American in-laws, and I care about the environment. We don't use disposable diapers, which, of course, creates an environmental problem of our own.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

I fed my ego, but not my soul.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

To my real estate agent, Chernobyl is a fixer-upper.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

As Americans after 9/11, we're much more united, together as a nation, and we got stronger, better, and more at peace. By peace, I mean the harmony you can feel in our united determination to fight these terrorists and killers.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.

Yakov Smirnoff
Yakov Smirnoff

My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.