Who Framed Roger Rabbit Quotes

[Judge Doom about to "dip" Roger]
Eddie Valiant: Hey, Judge. Doesn't a dying rabbit deserve a last request?
Roger Rabbit: Yeah, nose plugs would be nice.
Eddie Valiant: I think you want a drink. So, how about it, Judge?
Judge Doom: Well, why not? I don't mind prolonging the execution.

Eddie Valiant: Happy trails.
Roger Rabbit: No thanks, Eddie. I'm trying to cut down.
Eddie Valiant: Drink the drink.
Roger Rabbit: But I don't want the drink.
Judge Doom: He doesn't want the drink.
Eddie Valiant: He does.
Roger Rabbit: I

don't.
Eddie Valiant: You do.
Roger Rabbit: I don't.
Eddie Valiant: You do.
Roger Rabbit: I don't.
Eddie Valiant: You do.
Roger Rabbit: I don't.
Eddie Valiant: You don't.
Roger Rabbit: I do.

Eddie Valiant: You don't.
Roger Rabbit: I do.
Eddie Valiant: You don't.
Roger Rabbit: [taking drink] Listen, when I say I do, that means I do.
[Roger smokes up, releasing him self from Judge Doom, and Eddie takes out the Weasels]

Eddie Valiant: You crazy rabbit! I'm out there risking my neck for you, and what are you doing? Singing and dancing!
Roger Rabbit: But I'm a toon. Toons are supposed to make people laugh.
Eddie Valiant: Sit down!
Roger Rabbit: You don't understand. Those people needed to laugh.
Eddie

Valiant: Then when they're done laughing, they'll call the cops. That guy Angelo would rat on you for a nickel.
Roger Rabbit: Not Angelo. He'd never turn me in.
Eddie Valiant: Why? Because you made him laugh?
Roger Rabbit: That's right! A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon

we have.

Roger Rabbit: [after bursting in through the drain, holding a gun] Okay, nobody move! All right, you weasels, grab some sky or I let the judge have it. You heard me, I said drop it!
Jessica Rabbit: Roger, darling!
Roger Rabbit: That's right, my dear. I'd love to embrace you, but first, I have to satisfy my sense of moral outrage.

Judge Doom: Put that gun down, you buck-toothed fool!
Roger Rabbit: That's it, Doom. Give me another excuse to pump you full of lead. So you thought you could get away with it, didn't you? Ha! We toons may act idiotic, but we're not stupid. We demand justice. Why, the real meaning of the word probably hits you like a ton of bricks.
[a ton of

bricks falls on Roger from above]
Jessica Rabbit: Roger! Roger, say something!
Roger Rabbit: [Stars circle around Roger's head] Look, stars! Ready when you are, Raoul.

Eddie Valiant: [after discovering Doom after being flattened by a Steamroller get up and wobbling to his feet] Holy smoke, he's a Toon!
Judge Doom: Surprised?
Eddie Valiant: Not really. That lame-brained freeway idea could only be cooked up by a Toon.
Judge Doom: Not just ANY Toon...
[Doom wobbles over

to an oxygen tank, puts the valve in his mouth and turns it on. He inflates back to his old self. His hat flies off and his prosthetic eyeballs pop out. Then he turns menacingly to Eddie, his eyes glowing a grim Toon red. Eddie gasps in terror]
Judge Doom: [voice getting higher, until it reaches a high-pitched squeak] Remember me, Eddie? When I killed your brother, I

talked... just... like... THIS!
[eyes pop out in the shape of daggers]

Bugs Bunny: [Eddie is falling; Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny, both wearing parachutes, join him] Eh, what's up, Doc? Jumpin' without a parachute? Kinda dangerous, ain't it?
Eddie Valiant: Yeah.
Mickey Mouse: Yeah. You could get killed. Heh, heh.
Eddie Valiant: You guys got a spare?
Mickey

Mouse: Uh, Bugs does.
Eddie Valiant: Yeah?
Bugs Bunny: [in a sing-song tone] Yeah, but I don't think you want it.
Eddie Valiant: I do, I do, give it to me!
Mickey Mouse: Gee, uh, better let him have it, Bugs.
Bugs Bunny: Okay, Doc. Whatever you say, here's the spare.

Eddie Valiant: Thank you.
Eddie Valiant: Thank you.
[Mickey and Bugs deploy parachutes; Eddie pulls ripcord on parachute, and a car tire inflates]
Eddie Valiant: Aw, no! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Mickey Mouse: Aw, poor fella. Ha ha.
Bugs Bunny: Yeah, ain't I a stinker?

Lena Hyena: [Eddie continues falling until Lena Hyena catches him before he hits the ground] My man!
[Gives him a stretching kiss, Eddie tumbles backwards away from her a long way]
Lena Hyena: Come to Lena!
Eddie Valiant: [Starts running towards him, Eddie rips part of a street line and moves it toward a wall which she runs

straight into] Toons. Gets 'em every time.

Eddie Valiant: I'm through with taking falls / And bouncing off the walls / Without that gun, I'd have some fun / I'd kick you in the...
[bottle falls on his head]
Roger Rabbit: Nose!
Smart Ass: Nose? That don't rhyme with "walls."
Eddie Valiant: No, but this does.
[kicks Smartass in the crotch,

propelling him into a vat of Dip]

[the Toons gather around Judge Doom's remains]
Mickey Mouse: Gosh, I wonder who he really was?
Bugs Bunny: I'll tell you one thing, Doc. He weren't no rabbit.
Daffy Duck: Or a duck.
Goofy: Or a dog.
Pinocchio: Or a little wooden boy.
Big Bad Wolf: Or a...

sheep.
Woody Woodpecker: Or a woodpecker.
Sylvester: Or a pussy.

Roger Rabbit: What could have possibly happen to you to turn you into such a sourpuss?
Eddie Valiant: You really want to know? I'll tell you. A toon killed my brother.
Roger Rabbit: A toon? No!
Eddie Valiant: Yes, a toon. We were investigating a robbery at the First National Bank of Toontown. Back in those

days, me and Teddy liked working Toontown, thought it was a lot of laughs. Anyway, this guy got away with a zillion simoleons. We trailed him to a little dive down on Yukster Street. We went in. Only he got the drop on us, literally. Dropped a piano on us from fifteen stories. Broke my arm, Teddy never made it. I never did find out who that guy was. All I remember was him standing over me

laughing, with those burning red eyes, and that high, squeaky voice. He disappeared into Toontown after that.

Eddie Valiant: Anybody know you're here?
Roger Rabbit: Nobody. Not a soul, except, uh...
Eddie Valiant: Who?
Roger Rabbit: Well, you see, I didn't know where your office was. So I asked the newsboy. He didn't know. So I asked the fireman, the green grocerer, the butcher, the baker, they didn't know! But the

liquor store guy... he knew.
Eddie Valiant: [Grabs Roger and sends him to the door] In other words, the whole damn town knows you're here! Get out!