Watchmen Quotes

Rorschach: I heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Life seems harsh, and cruel. Says he feels all alone in threatening world. Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. "But doctor..." he says "I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

Rorschach: [reading from journal] Rorschach's Journal. October 12th, 1985: Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will

foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll whisper "no."

Adrian Veidt: The Comedian was right. Humanity's savage nature will inevitably lead to global annihilation. So in order to save this planet, I have to trick it... with the greatest practical joke in human history.
Dan Dreiberg: Killing millions?
Adrian Veidt: To save billions. A necessary crime.
Rorschach: You

know we can't let you do that.
Adrian Veidt: 'Do that', Rorschach? I'm not a comic book villain. Do you seriously think I would explain my master stroke to you if there were even the slightest possibility you could affect the outcome? I triggered it 35 minutes ago.

Adrian Veidt: [Nixon finishes his speech on Veidt's TVs] Do you see? It's your super powers retreating from war. I've saved the Earth from hell. We both have. This is as much your victory as it is mine. Now we can return. Do what we were meant to.
Rorschach: We were meant to exact justice! Everyone's gonna know what you've done...
Adrian

Veidt: Will they? By exposing me, you would sacrifice the peace so many died for today.
Dan Dreiberg: Peace based on a lie.
Adrian Veidt: But peace! Nonetheless.
Jon Osterman: ...He's right. Exposing Adrian would only doom the world to Nuclear destruction again.
Laurie Juspeczyk: No... we can't

do this.
Jon Osterman: On Mars, you taught me the value of life. If we hope to preserve it here, we must remain silent.
Rorschach: Keep your own secrets...
[the others look as Rorscach leaves, then Jon and Adrian make eye contact]
Dan Dreiberg: Don't even think about it.
[Goes after Rorscach]
Dan

Dreiberg: Rorscach! Wait.
Rorschach: [Turns] Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon. That's always been the difference between us, Daniel.
[Leaves the building]
Adrian Veidt: I've made myself feel every death... see every innocent face I've murdered to save humanity.
[Turns to Jon]
Adrian

Veidt: You understand, don't you?
Jon Osterman: Without condoning... or condemning. I understand.
Rorschach: [Outside, in the snow, Rorscach comes across a copy of Jon standing in the snow] Out of my way. People have to be told.
Jon Osterman: You know I can't let you do that.
Rorschach:

Suddenly you discover humanity. Convenient.
[Takes off his mask]
Rorschach: If you'd cared from the start, none of this would've happened.
Jon Osterman: I can change almost anything... but I can't change human nature.
Rorschach: Of course, you must protect Veidt's new Utopia. One more body amongst foundations makes

little difference. Well, what are you waiting for? Do it...
[Jon hesitates]
Rorschach: DO IT!
[Jon makes Rorscach explode into a pile of blood]
Dan Dreiberg: NOOOOOOOO!

Jon Osterman: Will you smile? If I admit I was wrong?
Laurie Juspeczyk: About what?
Jon Osterman: Miracles. Events with astronomical odds of occurring, like oxygen turning into gold. I've longed to witness such an event, and yet I neglect that in human coupling, millions upon millions of cells compete to create life, for generation

after generation until, finally, your mother loves a man, Edward Blake, the Comedian, a man she has every reason to hate, and out of that contradiction, against unfathomable odds, it's you - only you - that emerged. To distill so specific a form, from all that chaos. It's like turning air into gold. A miracle. And so... I was wrong. Now dry your eyes, and let's go home.

Jon Osterman: Reassembling myself was the first trick I learned. It didn't kill Osterman... did you really think it would kill me? I have walked across the surface of the Sun. I have witnessed events so tiny and so fast they can hardly be said to have occurred at all. But you, Adrian, you're just a man. The world's smartest man poses no more threat to me than does its smartest

termite.

Laurie Juspeczyk: Do you remember that crazy guy? What did he call himself... Captain Carnage. The one who used to pretend he was a supervillain just so he could get beaten up all the time?
Dan Dreiberg: Yeah, he tried that on me once. I just walked away. He starts following me down the street in broad daylight, yelling 'Punish me! Punish me!' I'm just

saying 'No! Get lost.'
Laurie Juspeczyk: God. Whatever happened to him?
Dan Dreiberg: Well, he pulled that on Rorschach, and Rorschach dropped him down an elevator shaft.
[pause, then both laugh]
Laurie Juspeczyk: Oh my god. That isn't even funny.
Dan Dreiberg: [laughing] It is a *little* funny.