[a barber approaches Thor with blades]
Barber: Now don't you move. My hands ain't as steady as they used to be!
Thor: [tough] By Odin's beard, you shall not cut my hair, lest you feel the wrath of the mighty Thor!
[pause]
Thor: [terrified] Please, kind sir, do not cut my hair. NO! NOOO!
Thor: [to Valkyrie] You know, I used to want to be a Valkyrie when I was younger, until I found out you were all women. There's nothing wrong with women, of course, I like women. Sometimes a little too much. Not in a creepy way, just more like a respectful appreciation. I think it's great, an elite force of women warriors.
Hela: It's come to my attention that you don't know who I am. I am Hela. Odin's firstborn. Commander of the legions of Asgard. The rightful heir to the throne and the Goddess of Death. My father is dead. As are the princes. You're welcome. We were once the seat of absolute power in the cosmos. Our supremacy was unchallenged. Yet Odin stopped at nine realms. Our destiny is to rule
over all others. And I am here to restore that power. Kneel before me and rise into the ranks of my great conquest.
Hogun: Whoever you were, whatever you've done, surrender now or we will show you no mercy.
Hela: Whoever I am? Did you not listen to a word I said?
Loki: Do you really think it's a good idea to go back to earth?
Thor: Yes, of course. People on earth love me, I'm very popular.
Loki: Let me rephrase that: Do you really think it's a good idea to bring ME back to earth?
Thor: Probably not, to be honest. I wouldn't worry, Brother. I feel like everything's
gonna work out fine.
[Thanos's ship appears]
[Grandmaster is announcing the Hulk into the Sakaaran Arena]
Grandmaster: ...The champion! The Defending! I give you, your Incredible...
[Hulk enters the arena, roars]
Loki: [to himself] I have to get off this planet.
Grandmaster: [Runs into Loki as he is trying to run away] Whoa, whoa, where are you going? Sit down.
Hulk: HULK! HULK! HULK!
Thor: [to the Grandmaster] Hey! Hey! We know each other, he's a friend from work!
Thor: [to Hulk] Where have you been? Everyone thought you were dead! There's so much that's happened since I last saw you! I lost my hammer, like yesterday so that's still pretty fresh. Loki, Lok - Loki's alive, can you
believe it? He's up there!
[Hulk glances at Loki]
Thor: Hey, Loki! Look who it is!
[Loki is horrorstruck]
Hela: Tell me about yourself, Skurge.
Skurge: Well, my dad was a stone mason and...
Hela: Yeah. Right. Ok. I'll just... I'll stop you there. What I meant was what's your ambition?
Skurge: I just want a chance to prove myself.
Hela: Recognition. Every great king had an executioner. Not
just to execute people but to also execute their vision. But mainly to execute people. Still, it was a great honor. I was Odin's executioner. And now you shall be mine.