The Sopranos
The Sopranos

Ralphie Cifaretto: I hate to do it, Artie. But I think I'm gonna pass.
Artie Bucco: Why not?
Ralphie Cifaretto: 'Cause if you don't pay me back, I ain't gonna be able to hurt ya.

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Vito, you did tell the police you didn't know who did this, right?
Vito Spatafore: Please. I may be distressed, but I know how to keep my mouth shut.
Ralph Cifaretto: Unless there's a big tuna sandwich around!

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

Ralphie Cifaretto: ...and I know I'm the guy who's dating your mom,
Jackie Aprile Jr.: Dating?
Ralphie Cifaretto: Don't get fuckin' filthy about it.

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

Feech La Manna: What's yours is your Pauly, but what ain't, belongs to anybody else.
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Oh, what do you know about what belongs to who? You been in prison for twenty years.
Feech La Manna: Which entitles me to earn!
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Which entitles you to shit! In my book,

you get points for staying out.
Feech La Manna: Then it's a good thing, Paulie, that your book doesn't mean oogatz to me!

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [repeated line, when greeting someone or several people] What'd ya hear? What'd ya say?

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

Silvio Dante: My daughter got off on this feminist rant. She told me it's demeaning for a girl to be working at the Bing. The fact that these girls make $1500 a week has no bearing with my principessa.

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

FBI agent: We've had every one of Tony Soprano's phones bugged for four years, but the guy says less than Harpo Marx.

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

[a union leader won't go along with one of the Sopranos' schemes. Bobby is sent to fix the situation]
Bobby "Bacala" Baccalieri: How's it going? You're the head of the union aren't you?
Union Leader: Yeah, I am. Who are you?
Bobby "Bacala" Baccalieri: Just a casual observer. You know, I've been following the situation, and I gotta tell you, it

doesn't make much sense to me. I mean you recently got an offer, for a lot of money. And, if you don't get paid, you can't feed your family. I presume you got a family. I'm a family man myself, and I gotta tell you I'd rather take two shots to the back of the fucking head than not be able to feed my family.
[makes a gun with his hand and points it to the back of his own head]

Bobby "Bacala" Baccalieri: One... Two... To the back of the head. You think about that.

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

Silvio Dante: You're only as good as your last envelope.

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

Livia Soprano: [at the dinner table talking about AJ's behavior] Oh his father was the same way. I practically LIVED in that vice principal's office.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Could we not?
Livia Soprano: Oh well you only remember what you want to remember. I must have had another son who stole a car when he was ten years old.

[pause]
Livia Soprano: Yeah, he could barely see over the steering wheel.

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

Carmine 'Little Carmine' Lupertazzi: The Soprano family has always been a little pushy.
Carmine Lupertazzi: Family? They're a glorified crew!
John 'Johnny Sack' Sacrimoni: Whatever they are, Carmine, they make us a lot of money.

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

Christopher Moltisanti: So, you won't talk about this to anybody?
Black Thug: I got the mouth of a statue, nigga.

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You got any idea what my life would be worth if certain people found out I checked into a laughing academy?

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

[while playing hearts]
Salvatore "Big Pussy" Bonpensiro: I've eaten more queens than Lancelot.

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

Corrado Erico 'Uncle Junior' Soprano: How much White Castle did you have?
Bobby "Bacala" Baccalieri: I had none. I swear.
Corrado Erico 'Uncle Junior' Soprano: I can SMELL it.

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

Phil Leotardo: There are no scraps in my scrapbook.

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

Christopher Moltisanti: Whatever you do, do not engage Silvio in conversation.

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

[Three of Tony's capos enter a room angrily]
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I thought I was the only one Junior could make look like that.

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [to a friend, about men] Sure. You want someone who's sensitive to your needs, but still decisive enough for the occasional grope in the closet.

The Sopranos
The Sopranos

Adriana La Cerva: They broke my fuckin' chair.