Mia: [to her cat, Fat Louie] You are so lucky you don't know who your parents are.
Lilly: You know you look like Shaft?
Vice Principal Gupta: Oh come on girls, it's a ball not a snake. Back in formation!
Michael: Don't worry about me. I just consider myself royally flushed.
Mia: Tell me, how does my mother, or any person for that matter, go into a parent/teacher conference and come out with a date?
Mia: Somebody sat on me again.
Lilly: Michael, can you please pretend you have a life for just one moment?
Lilly: The student body may be morally bankrupt, but that doesn't mean they're blind!
[first lines]
Helen Thermopolis: Time for school! Stop daydreaming, you'll be late for school.
Nelson Davenport: No longer does Mia stand for missing in action, Genovia has a new princess!
Lana Thomas: [singing] Stupid Cupid, you're a real mean guy. I'd like to clip your wings so you can't fly. I'm in love and it's a crying shame. And I know you're the one to blame. Hey-Hey, set me free. Stupid Cupid, stop picking on me.
Cheerleader Anna, Fontana: [background singing] Stupid cupid.
Lilly: You're morphing into one of them! Next week you'll be waving pom-poms in my face!
Fontana: Tell me Mia. Is it true about your speech? Are you really speaking at the bulimic convention?
Lana Thomas: So you can speak and barf at the same time?
[Fontana makes vomiting noises]
Helen Thermopolis: Where are you going?
Mia: I'm going up to straighten the royal bedchamber.
student: [PA announcement] Remember, virtual homework may not be submitted for actual credit.
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: [after Mia, Prime Minister Motaz, and Sheila Motaz make a scene from eating the ice cream too quickly] Have you ever experienced that *instant* headache when you eat ice too quickly?
Emperor Sakamoto: [briefly shakes his head] No.
Helen Thermopolis: That Backstreet Boy clone you've had a crush on for years?
Mia: He's not a Backstreet Boy clone.
Lilly: Is your mom dating an undertaker?
