The Lego Batman Movie Quotes

The Joker: [Releasing the villains from the Phantom Zone] He's evil, he's magic, and it's about to get tragic. It's Voldemort!
Voldemort: Magic!
[Starts zapping police]
Voldemort: You are a fish! You, a frog! You are a fish-frog!
The Joker: He's a 9,000-year-old incarnation of evil, with an eye for

jewelry. Give it up for Sauron!
Sauron: Good afternoon, Gotham City.
[Fires a beam of fire at Gotham]
The Joker: He likes long, violent walks on historic builds. It's King Kong!
King Kong: Come at me, Gotham!

The Joker: Your city is under attack by Gotham's greatest criminal minds. Including... The Riddler... Scarecrow...
Scarecrow: Pizza delivery.
The Joker: Bane.
Bane: Hello!
The Joker: Two-Face.
Two-Face: We need that door open, baby.
The

Joker: Catwoman.
Catwoman: Meow, meow. You're in! Meow, meow.

The Joker: It's gotta be one or the other, Batman. Save the city, or catch your greatest enemy. You can't do both.
Batman: I'm sorry, what did you just say?
The Joker: You can't do both, I said.
Batman: No, I mean the other thing.
The Joker: Save the city, or catch your greatest enemy.

Batman: You think you're my greatest enemy?
The Joker: Yes! You're obsessed with me!
Batman: [blows a raspberry] No, I'm not.
The Joker: Yes you are.
Batman: No I'm not.
The Joker: Yes, you are! Who else drives you to one-up them the way that I do?

Batman: Bane.
The Joker: No, he doesn't.
Batman: Superman.
The Joker: Superman's not a bad guy!

Pilot Bill: Gotham Tower, this is McGuffin Airlines Flight 1138. We are transporting 11 million sticks of dynamite, 17,000 pounds of C-4, about 150 cute little classic bomb-type bombs...
Pilot Bill, Captain Dale: [simultaneously] ... and two best friends!
Pilot Bill: We request permission to fly over the most

crime-ridden city in the world. Over.

Batgirl: Engine one down.
Batman: Not a big deal. Don't worry about it. It's fine.
Batgirl: Engine two down.
Batman: It does that sometimes.
Batgirl: We've lost engine three.
Batman: Oh, could live without it.
Batgirl: Engine four!

Batman: That I do need to fix.

Robin: Wow! Look, it's the Bat-Sub!
Batman: Wait, don't touch that!
Robin: Over there! It's the Bat-Space Shuttle!
Batman: Please keep your hands off that.
Robin: Look, it's the Bat-Zeppelin!
Batman: Don't touch that, either!
Robin: It's

the Bat-Train!
Batman: No!
Robin: It's the Bat-Kayak!
Batman: No!
Robin: It's the Bat-Dune Buggy!
Batman: No!
Robin: It's the Bat... Shark Repellent?
Batman: [pause] Uh, actually, you can touch that. It's completely useless.

Pilot Bill: Captain Dale, is everything okay?
The Joker: I'm afraid Captain Dale had to bail. I'm your new co-pilot, and I always come to work with a smile!
[Joker smiles evilly. Pilot Bill just glares back]
The Joker: You should be terrified.
Pilot Bill: Why?
The Joker: Because

I will be taking over the city.
Pilot Bill: Hmmm...
The Joker: What?
Pilot Bill: Batman will stop you.
[Joker blows a raspberry]
Pilot Bill: He always stops you.
The Joker: No, he doesn't!
Pilot Bill: What about that time with the two boats?

The Joker: This is better than the two boats.
Pilot Bill: Hmmm...
The Joker: Well, tonight is going to be different! Tonight is my greatest plan yet, and trust me, Batman's never going to see it coming.
Pilot Bill: Like the time with the parade and the Prince music?
The Joker: HEY,

QUIET!