143 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Quotes (2026) #7

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Zaphod: He's a guest on my ship! He's a guest on my shiiiip!
Ford: I thought you said you stole it.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Ford: [watching the Magrathean recording of Deep Thought] Is that it?
Zaphod: No, there's more. They go back.
Arthur: What, seven and a half million years later?
Zaphod: Yeah, they do.
[Cuts to 7.5 million years later and the answer being received]

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Arthur: She was amazing though, Ford. Beautiful, witty, mad as a balloon.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Ford: [about Vogons] They don't think, they don't imagine, most of them can't even spell, they just run things. And if we don't hitch a ride soon, you won't need the guide to tell you just how unpleasant they can be. They already destroyed a planet today, and that always makes them a little... eeee!

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Arthur: I think that door just sighed.
Marvin: Ghastly, isn't it? All the doors on this spaceship have been programmed to have a cheery and sunny disposition.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Zaphod: He did say the gray building, right?
Ford: All the buildings are gray.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Zaphod: [everything appears to be made of yarn] WOW! Is this gonna happen every time we hit that button?
Trillian: Very probably, yes.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Marvin: I have a million ideas, but, they all point to certain death.
Arthur: Thanks very much, Marv!

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Eddie the Computer: Engaging Infinite Improbability Drive...
Ford: No, no, no... Zaphod, buttons aren't toys! What did you do?

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Ghostly Image: Greetings. This is a recorded announcement as we are all out at the moment. The Commercial Council of Magrathea thanks you for your esteemed visit but regrets that the entire planet is temporarily closed. If you would like to leave your name and a planet where you can be contacted, kindly do so at the tone.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Jeltz: Either die in the vacuum of space, or tell me what you thought of my poem.
[other Vogons chuckle]
Arthur: A... a... actually, I rather liked it.
Jeltz: Hmm?
Ford: Yeah. That's good. Run with it.
Jeltz: Hmmm?
Arthur: Uh, some of the words I didn't

understand, but I found the imagery quite effective.
Jeltz: Continue...
Arthur: Well, uh, yes, interesting rhythmic devices, which seemed to counterpoint the underlying metaphor of the humanity of, of the poet's soul.
Jeltz: So what you're saying is, I write poetry because underneath this mean, callous, heartless exterior, I

just want to be loved?
Ford: [whispers] Yes, yes, yes.
Arthur: Yes, yes, yeah, please.
[other Vogons ooh-ing and aah-ing]
Jeltz: Throw them off the ship!

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Zaphod: [to Arthur] I like those jammies.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Fook: We don't want to be happy, we want to be famous.

#want

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Humma Kavula: Zaphod Beeblebrox, our infamous President. What brings you to our humble planet?
Zaphod: Oh, I think you know why I'm here.
Humma Kavula: No, I don't think I do.
Zaphod: I think you think you don't. But we both know, you do.
Humma Kavula: Eloquent as always. Your ability

to articulate never ceases to amaze.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Zaphod: Have you calculated the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything?
Deep Thought: No. I've been watching TV. I built another computer to do that.
Zaphod: Oh, right, I forgot. Is it here?
Deep Thought: No, it's not here. It's another world.
Zaphod: It's on another

world...
Deep Thought: It *is* another world, stupid. Or it was until the Vogons destroyed it for a hyperspace expressway.
Zaphod: Well, Okay. You sure you don't have the question, or a way to, you know, access it or something? 'Cause I think I've done a lot to get here.
Deep Thought: [TV lights up again] Oh, shh, shh. The

show's back on.
Zaphod: Well, I don't wanna bother you, so I'm gonna... Good stuff. Great.
[backing away]
Zaphod: I'm gonna go and find something else for my entire life to be about.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Trillian: So much for the laws of physics.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Humma Kavula: What does Zaphod Beeblebrox treasure most?

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

[last lines]
Narrator: It is, of course, well known that careless talk costs lives. But the full scale of the problem is not always appreciated. For instance, at the very moment that Arthur Dent said, "I wouldn't want to go anywhere without my wonderful towel, " a freak wormhole opened up in the fabric of the space-time continuum and carried his words far, far back in time,

across almost infinite reaches of space, to a distant galaxy where strange and warlike beings were poised on the brink of frightful interstellar battle. The two opposing leaders, resplendent in their black-jewelled battle shorts were meeting for the last time, when a dreadful silence fell. And at that very moment, the words "I wouldn't want to go anywhere without my wonderful towel" drifted across

the conference table. Unfortunately, in their native tongue, this was the most appalling insult imaginable. So the opposing battle fleets decided to settle their remaining differences, in order to launch a joint attack on our galaxy, now positively identified as the source of the offending remark. For thousands of years, the mighty starships tore across the empty wastes of space and finally dived

screaming onto the planet Earth, where, due to a terrible miscalculation of scale, the entire battle fleet was accidentally swallowed by a small dog. Those who study the complex interplay of cause and effect in the history of the universe say that this sort of thing is going on all the time.