The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Quotes

Carlton: [the very last lines of the series]
[Will sadly walks through the empty Banks' living room one last time; he makes his way towards the kitchen and turns off the lights. Carlton is still upstairs using the bathroom]
Carlton: HEY! WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?
[Carlton runs down the stairs pulling his pants up]

Carlton: WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
Will: [Will stops as he watches Carlton run out the back door] I am definitely gonna miss you, C!

[theme song - new verses]
Will: I got in one little fight, and my mom got scared / and said "You're moving with your Auntie and Uncle in Bel-Air!" / I begged and pleaded with her day after day / but she packed my suitcase and send me on my way / She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket / I put my Walkman on and said, "I might as well kick it!" / First class, yo

this is bad / Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass / Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like? / Hmmmmm, this might be alright...

Geoffrey: [handing Carlton a big brown bag] Master Carlton, I have to take this tray up to your mother, so on your way out, would you mind taking out the garbage?
Carlton: Do I look like Roc?
Will: [sitting at the kitchen table] I don't know, Carlton. Maybe if you shaved your head bald and sanded down the square part.

Carlton: [ignores Will and hands Ashley the bag] Ashley, you take out the garbage!
Ashley Banks: Why me?
Carlton: Because I'm bigger than you.
Will: See, that's not fair. That's only 'cause you got them shoe lifts in today.
Carlton: They're not lifts. I doubled up on my Odor-Eaters.

Ashley Banks: [Carlton walks out of the kitchen while Ashley is holding the trash bag; Hilary walks into the kitchen and Ashley hands her the bag] Here, Hilary, you take it out!
Hilary: Out where?
Ashley Banks: To the trash cans! You know, those things you hit every time you back out the car?
Hilary: Oh,

thank God. I thought it was the neighbor's kids!
[Hilary takes the brown garbage bag from Ashley]
Hilary: THIS IS GROSS! I don't touch greasy, disgusting things!
Will: Well, just pretend it's buying you dinner afterwards.
Hilary: [Hilary walks up to Will and shoves the trash bag to him] You take it!

Will: Yo, girl!
Hilary: And for your information, dinner comes first!
[Hilary walks out of the kitchen]
Will: Oh, it's like that, right? You're just gonna slam garbage at me!
[Uncle Phil walks in the room]
Phillip Banks: Good morning, Will.
Will: Good morning, Uncle Phil.

[Will hands Phil the dirty garbage bag]
Will: Here's your lunch!
Phillip Banks: [Phil takes the bag and walk out of the house] Thank you!

Will: [to Carlton as he's waking up at the hospital after overdosing from drugs] Carlton, you're at a hospital.
Carlton: I feel terrible. I never thought losing my virginity would be this painful!
Will: Carlton, I got some bad news...
Carlton: Oh, God, I malfunctioned!
Will: No. See,

you never made it past the dance floor. Those pills that you took weren't vitamins.
Carlton: What were they?
Will: Look, you gotta promise you're not gonna overreact...
Carlton: What could be worse than finding out I'm still a virgin?
Will: [about the drugs] It was Speed...

Carlton: Oh, my God. I'm a drug addict *and* a virgin!
Will: Shut up! Shut up, shut up. Now be quiet!

Hilary: Face it, you're a taker.
Carlton: Oh, I'M a taker, Miss 'Daddy, can I have five-hundred dollars?'
Hilary: Oh, right, Mister 'Hey Big Guy, how about a copy of your will in case something happens to you?'
Carlton: That's called prudent planning.
Hilary: Yeah, if your last name is

Menendez.

Will: [rejecting Phil's gift] I- I can't take this, Uncle Phil. I, um- There's something I need to tell you.
Philip Banks: What is it?
Will: [nervously] Those pills that Carlton took... um, they- they were from my locker.
Philip Banks: [shocked] What?
Will: [stammers] Uncle Phil, I was

keeping them in case I needed them...
Philip Banks: How could you be so stupid? You know you shouldn't be messing with drugs!
Will: [stutters nervously] I know, Uncle Phil! Somebody gave them to me at school. I didn't mean for Carlton to take them. I mean, I didn't even know if *I* was gonna take them!
[pause]
Will: I'm

sorry, Uncle Phil...
Philip Banks: [angrily cuts him off] Sorry?
[he walks up to Will]
Philip Banks: My son could have died because of you!
Will: Look, I know Uncle Phil. That's all I've been thinking about! B-but you gotta believe me, Uncle Phil, I didn't mean to hurt him...
Philip Banks: Yeah,

well, you did! You hurt him, and you could have hurt yourself!

Carlton: [after being scolded by Will for being selfish] You know what your problem is?
Will: No, I don't...
Carlton: You're a slacker. You say you want things but you're never willing to work for it! You never make the sacrifice. You think you're just gonna charm your way through; just like your father!
Will:

[pause] Let me tell you something. I am *nothing* like my father, all right?

Will: [very first lines of the show]
[opens the front door and hugs Geoffrey]
Will: Uncle Phil! Man! How are you doing?
Geoffrey: I am not your uncle Philip...
Will: My fault, man! I must have got the wrong crib. I didn't know there were so many brothers living in this neighborhood! We're doing all

right, huh?
Geoffrey: You have the right house. I am Geoffrey, your uncle's butler.
Will: Okay. Well, I-
[pause]
Will: "Cheerio" and all that rot!
[laughs]

Vivian Banks: [stressed out from being pregnant] I can't do this anymore.
Will: Look, me neither! I mean, getting woke up in the middle of the night by a naked man running around the house!
Geoffrey: I'm sorry! I thought you were all asleep!
Will: Not you, G...
Geoffrey: Oh, never mind!

Vivian Banks: Look, now, everybody calm down. False alarms happen all the time.
Will: But Uncle Phil was *naked* Aunt Viv!
Phillip Banks: [annoyed] Shut up, Will!