The Disaster Artist Quotes

[Tommy prepares to film his sex scene, and he is walking in the set completely naked]
Tommy Wiseau: Okay, okay, we go.
Greg Sestero: Tommy, Tommy, this is not necessary.
Tommy Wiseau: No. It very necessary. I need to show my ass to sell this movie, okay?
Greg Sestero: That's not true.

Sandy Schklair: At least we have a closed set.
Tommy Wiseau: Not closed set. Open set. Life is not closed set! I want everyone to see!
[points at Greg]
Tommy Wiseau: You, especially.
Greg Sestero: W-what? Why? What?
Tommy Wiseau: Brad Pitt do this in the Legend of the Fall.

Raphael: We gotta get going, okay - we're already four hours behind.
Tommy Wiseau: Okay, well, whose fault that?
Raphael: [pauses, flabbergasted] *Yours.*
Tommy Wiseau: Uh, my fault?
Raphael: You're late *every* goddamn day.
Tommy Wiseau: Alright, that your five

cents. I'm fucking director!
Raphael: Exactly!
Tommy Wiseau: Exactly!
Raphael: Exactly!
Tommy Wiseau: Exactly - turn these lights on, right now!
Raphael: If I turn on the lights, it's getting hotter.
Tommy Wiseau: Be professional! Do your job!

Raphael: You do *your* job!
Greg Sestero: Tommy, it's hot enough as is!
Tommy Wiseau: Greg, so you know about light too, huh? You know everything - you know water, light, girlfriend.

Tommy Wiseau: [about to film the love scene] We go, okay? Rolling?
[Stops and notices a pimple on Juliette]
Tommy Wiseau: Wait wait wait! Cut cut! What is this? What is this, this disgusting...
Juliette: [offended] It's my body!
Tommy Wiseau: No, this, pimples on the... Makeup! Makeup, come fix this

disgusting body!

Sandy Schklair: [Wiseau is sitting back up after acting the suicide moment]
[Whispering]
Sandy Schklair: Why is he getting back up?
[Wiseau picks up the red dres]
Sandy Schklair: Cut!
Tommy Wiseau: No, don't cut! Don't cut! Why you cut, Sandy? This is great! This real acting!
Sandy

Schklair: If you're gonna writhe around with the dress, maybe do it before you shoot yourself in the head and blow your brains out.
Tommy Wiseau: I disagree!

Sandy Schklair: Take 67, Action!
Tommy Wiseau: [Wiseau enters the scene while looking directly into the camera] I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not hit her. I did not. Oh, hi Mark.
Sandy Schklair: [Frustrated] What the f- where are you looking? It doesn't work when you're looking into the camera!

Tommy Wiseau: What?

Tommy Wiseau: [after the end of the movie with a standing ovation] Okay! Wow! I'm glad you liked my comedic movie! Exactly how I intend it! You know, I have vision for this movie. But I never make this movie...
[points at Greg]
Tommy Wiseau: ... without my friend. We followed our dream.
[motions for Greg to come join him on stage]

Tommy Wiseau: Come down here, Baby Face!