The Disaster Artist Quotes

[Tommy walks out of the screening of The Room, disappointed that people are laughing at his movie. Greg follows him]
Greg Sestero: Hey, Tommy.
Tommy Wiseau: They hate it.
Greg Sestero: No, no, they're, they're just laughing.
Tommy Wiseau: They're laughing. Laughing at me. Maybe it's true, you know.

Maybe everybody right. Maybe, maybe I just big joke, ha, ha.
Greg Sestero: No, Tommy...
Tommy Wiseau: I try to open my heart, show them my soul, and they just hate me. Even you hate me, Greg.
Greg Sestero: Hey, hey, hey. Listen to me, all right? All right, that thing out there, that's your movie. You made that. All right, like

you said, you did that all by yourself. You know how special that is?
[Tommy groans]
Greg Sestero: Hey, it's fucking incredible. How many people can say they have done something like that?
Tommy Wiseau: I don't know, one thousand?
Greg Sestero: All right, and yeah. Maybe it didn't turn out exactly as you hoped, but just

listen for a second.
Tommy Wiseau: Sound like they're laughing.
Greg Sestero: All right, come here.
[Tommy and Greg return to the theatre, to see the audience still laughing. We see the scene where Johnny kills himself on screen]
Greg Sestero: Look how much fun they're having. They fucking love it, man! How often do you

think Hitchcock got a response like this?
Tommy Wiseau: Never.
Tommy Wiseau: [after Johnny throws the television on screen] Greg, why you help me?
Greg Sestero: 'Cause we're friends.

Henry: [Post-Credits scene] Hey, how are you doing?
Tommy Wiseau: Fine. Yeah, I'm fine. Why you ask?
Henry: Why are you standing against a wall?
Tommy Wiseau: Look, I just a guy leaning on a wall! No big deal!
Henry: Why you so lonely? Tell me.
Tommy Wiseau:

What? I'm just standing here alone. Don't mean I'm lonely.
Henry: You need help, I see it.
Tommy Wiseau: It's not pity party, it's just party.
Henry: You go with me?
Tommy Wiseau: Go where?
Henry: To my house.
Tommy Wiseau: [pause] I'm not going anywhere

with you.
Henry: You think you have long hair, you own the world? Is that the idea, huh?
Tommy Wiseau: I stop you. I stop you right there. What is this accent? It sound familiar. You from New Orleans?
Henry: Yeah, so what?
Tommy Wiseau: What part?
Henry: Chalmette.

Tommy Wiseau: I love New Orleans.
Henry: You know where Chalmette?
Tommy Wiseau: Yeah.
Henry: Okay, cool. You want a drink or something?
Tommy Wiseau: No. I'm not thirsty either. I just want to stand here.
Henry: What's your name? Tommy, right?

Tommy Wiseau: Yeah. My name's Tommy, with a capital 'Go away'.
Henry: It's okay! Have a nice one. Okay?
Tommy Wiseau: Okay.
Henry: Okay, bye.
[leaves]
Tommy Wiseau: [confused] 'Kay...
Henry: [sighs] People are very strange these days! Oh, hi Betty.

Tommy Wiseau: My god... Who are these friends Greg has?

Philip: [to Greg] Can we ask you something? What's this movie about?
Robyn Paris: I have a theory - it's autobiographical. Someone in his life was a Denny, a kid brother, someone he looked out for. Someone else was a Mark, the better-looking friend he was always jealous of. I'm sure there was a Michelle somewhere, and a Mike.

Juliette: So who was Lisa? Someone who broke his heart, stabbed him the back and ruined his life?
Robyn Paris: Pretty obvious to me - that's the universe.

[first lines]
Kristen Bell: If you were to ask the five best filmmakers in the world right now to make a movie like this... it... it wouldn't even be in the same universe.
Ike Barinholtz: I was blown away. Like, like three minutes in, I turn to my friend, "This is the fucking greatest movie I've ever seen in my life."
[chuckles]

Adam Scott: It has withstood, like, ten years? And people are still watching a movie and talking about a movie. People aren't doing that about whatever won the Oscar for Best Picture ten years ago.
Kevin Smith: What genius is behind this?
Keegan Michael Key: Tommy wanted to break... Tommy wanted to break barriers in filmmaking.

Lizzy Caplan: I think that he had a very clear vision.
Kevin Smith: He is a figure of mystery where, you know, you do wanna learn more about him.
Danny McBride: Who is this man? Who is this auteur?
Adam Scott: The kind of sheer ambition of it... is... is in-incredible.
J.J. Abrams:

The numbers probably prove how unlikely it is that you'll make it.
Adam Scott: If I had a time machine, I wouldn't go do a bunch of stu... uh, stuff you... I would go back and try and get on that set just to watch and feel what it was like 'cause it has to be... unbelievable.
[title is shown]

Tommy Wiseau: What is this? This makeup. You look like you're swimming in lake.
Carolyn Minnott: It's a hundred degrees in here.
Tommy Wiseau: Makeup!
Greg Sestero: Tommy, if you're not gonna pay for air conditioning, you at least have to pay for water.
Juliette: Could we maybe just

have a little bit of water before the scene? I...
Tommy Wiseau: Okay, I stop you. I stop everybody right there, okay? Nobody in Hollywood will give you water either, okay?
Greg Sestero: That's not true. Dude, we can't work like this!
Tommy Wiseau: Well, I'm not Santa Claus, all right? Maybe you go buy water for everybody,

*Greg,* okay? Maybe girlfriend bring you some water or something.