Cam Brady: [on answering machine] Hey Shana. It's congressman Cam Brady here. I just stepped away from a family dinner to tell you I wish I wasn't eating fried steak. I wish I was eating Shana pussy. Seriously, baby, you get me so hard my dick presses against my zipper and it hurts like a motherfucker. What else? Oh, hey, I got your parents tickets to The Producers. And, oh, yeah,
let's do something crazy weird next time like lick each other's buttholes in a Denny's bathroom. All right, I gotta go. Cam Brady in '012.
Marty Huggins: Well, I'll tell you this. I'll make you proud. I will. I'll make you - I'll make you real proud.
Raymond Huggins: I'd say there's mathematically zero chance of that happening. Your brother Tripp is a bull's-eye. But you look like Richard Simmons just crapped out a goddamn hobbit.
Marty Huggins: Dad, if you're still
holding a grudge because I wore Crocs to Mom's funeral... like I've told you a thousand times, I'm sorry. Mom would've wanted it that way. She was casual.
Wolf Blitzer: Bizarre news coming out of of the 14th district congressional race in North Carolina. Now, get this: Cam Brady, four-time congressman, punched a baby.
Chris Matthews: This is likely to hurt him with the Christian right, social conservatives. Really any group that opposes baby-punching.
Bill Maher: Baby is fine, and he
said he punches like a three year old.
Clay Huggins: I go to the mall and take pictures up women's skirts. I have a whole book of cooter shots under my bed.
Marty Huggins: Oh god...
Dylan Huggins: One time I shoved a firefly up my butt hole.
Marty Huggins: Why?
Dylan Huggins: To make my farts glow.
[repeated line]
Tim Wattley: I'm here to make you not suck.
Cam Brady: [Cam Brady has just left an offensive message on a family's answering machine] By being in the same room as that machine, the kids became consenting adults! And this is 2012, who still has an answering machine in this day and age? In my lifetime, I have made over 100,000 phone calls and maybe 1,000 of them are obscene! That's a very small percentage.