John Bender: Uh, Dick? Excuse me; Rich. Will milk be made available to us?
Andrew Clark: We're extremely thirsty, sir.
Claire Standish: I have a really low tolerance for dehydration.
Andrew Clark: I've seen her dehydrate, sir. It's pretty gross.
Bender: Remember how you said your parents use you to get back at each other?
Claire Standish: [nods]
Bender: Wouldn't I be OUTSTANDING in that capacity?
Andrew: [after Claire has given Allison a makeover] What happened to you?
Allison Reynolds: Why? Claire did it... What's wrong?
Andrew: Nothing's wrong... it's just so different, you know? I can see your face.
Allison Reynolds: Is that good or bad?
Andrew: It's good.
Bender: [running through the halls singing] I wanna be an airborne ranger / I wanna lead a life of danger / Before the day I die / There's five things I wanna ride / Bicycle, tricycle, automobile / Virgin's mother and a ferris wheel...
Claire Standish: Do you know how popular I am? I am so popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school.
Bender: Poor baby.
[to himself, crawling above some acoustic ceiling tiles]
Bender: Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...
[the ceiling gives way]
Bender: Oh, *shit*.
Allison Reynolds: You have problems.
Andrew Clark: Oh, I have problems?
Allison Reynolds: You do everything everyone tells you to do and that is a problem.
Andrew Clark: Okay, fine, but I didn't dump my purse out on the couch and invite everyone into my problems.
[Vernon catches Bender playing basketball in the gym]
Bender: Don't you want to hear my excuse?
Richard Vernon: Out.
Bender: I'm thinkin' of tryin' out for a scholarship.
Andrew: Why do you have to insult everybody?
John Bender: I'm being honest, asshole. I would expect you to know the difference.
Claire Standish: [about her parents] I don't think either one of them gives a shit about me. It's like they use me just to get back at each other.
Allison Reynolds: [her first word of dialogue so far] Ha!
Claire Standish: [long pause] Shut up!
Allison Reynolds: I don't have to run away and live in the street. I can run away and I can go to the ocean, I can go to the country, I can go to the mountains. I could go to Israel, Africa, Afghanistan.
John Bender: Sporto.
Andrew Clark: What?
John Bender: You get along with your parents?
Andrew Clark: Well, if I say yes I'm an idiot, right?
John Bender: You're an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, well, you're a liar too.
Andrew: Speak for yourself.
Bender: Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language.
[Richard Vernon places magazine rack in front of door to hold it open]
John Bender: That's very clever, sir. But what if there's a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career, sir.
John Bender: Being bad feels pretty good, huh?
Andrew Clark: What do they do to you?
Allison Reynolds: They ignore me.
Andrew Clark: Yeah... yeah.
