Leigh Anne Touhy: [to redneck heckler at football game] Hey... crotchmouth! Yeah, you! Zip it, or I'll come up there and zip if for ya!
[to same, after his kid gets sacked]
Leigh Anne Touhy: Yo, deliverance. You see number 74? Well, that's *my* son.
Sean Tuohy: Michael, we have something we'd like to ask you.
Michael Oher: What ?
Sean Tuohy: Well, Leigh Anne and I, we're... , well, we'd like to become your legal guardians.
Michael Oher: What does that mean ?
Leigh Anne Touhy: What it means, is, is that, we want to know if you would
like to become part of this family.
Michael Oher: I kinda thought I already was.
Sean Tuohy: You really expect Michael to lay down on a couch and talk about his childhood like he's Woody Allen or something? I mean, Michael's gift is his ability to forget. He's mad at no one and he really doesn't care happened in the past.
Leigh Anne Touhy: You're right.
Sean Tuohy: Excuse me? 'You're right'? How'd those words
taste coming out of your mouth?
Leigh Anne Touhy: Like vinegar.
Alton: You hear me, bitch?
Leigh Anne Touhy: No, you hear me, BITCH!. You threaten my son, you threaten me. You so much as cross into downtown, you will be sorry. I'm in a prayer group with the D.A., I'm a member of the N.R.A. and I'm always packing.
Alton: Whatchu packin? .22? A little Saturday night special?
Leigh
Anne Touhy: Yep. And it shoots just fine every other day of the week too.
Leigh Anne Touhy: [talking about the Tuohy's Christmas card photo with Michael in it]
Elaine: He looks so big compared to you like Jessica Lange right next to King Kong
[amidst chuckles]
Beth: Hey, does Michael get the family discount at Taco Bell? 'Cause if he does Sean is gonna lose a few stores.
Leigh Anne
Touhy: He's a good kid.
Elaine: Well, I say you make it official and just adopt him
[laughs]
Leigh Anne Touhy: He's going to be eighteen in a few months it doesn't make much sense to legally adopt.
[they all stare at her]
Sherry: Leigh Ann, is this some sort of white guilt thing?
Elaine: What would your Daddy say?
Leigh Anne Touhy: Um... before or after he turns around in his grave? Daddy's been gone five years Elaine. Make matters worse you were at the funeral, remember? You were wearing Chanel and that awful black hat? Look, here's the deal, I don't need y'all to approve my choices alright, but I do ask that you respect them. You
have no idea what this boy has been through and if this becomes some running diatribe, I can find overpriced salad a lot closer to home.
Sherry: Leigh Ann, I'm so sorry, we didn't mean to...
Elaine: No, we didn't really.
Beth: I think what you are doing is so great. Opening up your home to him... honey, you are changing that
boy's life.
Leigh Anne Touhy: No, he's changing mine.
Elaine: [snidely] And that's great for you. But, seriously, Leigh Ann, aren't you worried for Collins? I mean, she's a beautiful white girl, and he's a big, black boy.
Leigh Anne Touhy: Shame on you.
[gets up]
Leigh Anne Touhy: I'm getting
this.
[she leaves]
[first lines]
Leigh Anne Touhy: There's a moment of orderly silence before a football play begins. Players are in position, linemen are frozen, and anything is possible. Then, like a traffic accident, stuff begins to randomly collide. From the snap of the ball to the snap of the first bones, closer to 4 seconds than 5.
[video rewinds]
Leigh Anne
Touhy: One-mississippi - Joe Theismann, the Redskins quarterback takes the snap and hands-off to his running mate. Two-mississippi - it's a trick play, a flea-flicker. And the running back tosses it back to the quarterback. Three-mississippi - up 'til now the play's been defined by what the quarterback sees; it's about to be defined by what he doesn't. Four-mississippi - Lawrence Taylor
is the best defensive player in the NFL. And has been from the time he walked onto the fielded as a rookie. He will also change the game of football as we know it... Legendary quarterback Joe Theismann never played another down of football.
Leigh Anne Touhy: Now, y'all would guess that more often than not, the highest paid player on an NFL team is the quarterback. And you'd
be right. But what you probably don't know is that more often than not, the second highest paid player is, thanks to Lawrence Taylor, a left tackle. Because, as every housewife knows, the first check you write is for the mortgage, but the second is for the insurance. The left tackle's job is to protect the quarterback from what he can't see coming. To protect his blind side.
Leigh Anne Touhy: Sean and I have been talking and Michael, if you're gonna accept a football scolarship we think it should be to Tennesee. And I promise that I will be at every game cheering for you.
Michael Oher: Every game.
Leigh Anne Touhy: Every game. But I will not wear that gaudy orange, I will not. It is not my colour wheel
and I'm not gonna wear it.