Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Nick Naylor: [seeing him an apple pie covered in cheese] That's disgusting!
Bobby Jay Bliss: It's American.

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Jeff Megall: [Talking to Nick on the phone, late at night] Gotta go. London. It's 7 AM in the Old Empire.
Nick Naylor: When do you sleep?
Jeff Megall: [pause] Sunday.

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Joey Naylor: Dad, why is the American government the best government?
Nick Naylor: Because of our endless appeals system.

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Jack: As you can see, Jeff just loves... Asian shit.

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Jack: I'm going to impale your mom on a spike and feed her dead body to my dog with syphilis.
Brad: Ha, you got me!
Jack: [to Nick and Joey Naylor] Inside joke.

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Lorne Lutch: [in his home] You look like a nice enough fella. What are you doing working for these assholes?
Nick Naylor: I'm good at it. Better at doing this than I ever was at doing anything else.
Lorne Lutch: Aw, hell, son. I was good at shooting VC. I didn't make it my career.

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

[last lines]
Nick Naylor: Gentlemen, practise these words in front of the mirror: Although we are constantly exploring the subject, currently there is no direct evidence that links cellphone usage to brain cancer.
Nick Naylor: [Narrating] Michael Jordan plays ball. Charles Manson kills people. I talk. Everyone has a talent.

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Bobby Jay Bliss: [in a restaurant] Did you know that you can fool the breathalizer test by chewing on activated charcoal tablets?
Polly Bailey: Well, maybe we should change our slogan to "If you must drink and drive, suck charcoal."
Nick Naylor: Won't the police ask about the charcoal in your mouth?
Bobby Jay

Bliss: There's not a law against charcoal.
Polly Bailey, Nick Naylor: Yet.

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Polly Bailey: How are you feeling?
Nick Naylor: First time I'm thinking these cigarettes are really dangerous
Bobby Jay Bliss: [Puts a gun on the table] you might be right about that, it might be small but it'll do the job, one shot BAM
Polly Bailey: He's not going to shoot anyone
Joey

Naylor: Cool
Bobby Jay Bliss: Yeah? I mean guns should be treated with respect you understand?
Nick Naylor: You make a great father
Bobby Jay Bliss: Thanks

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Nick Naylor: [Narrating] Polly works for the Moderation Council. A casual drinker by the age of 14, Polly quickly developed a tolerance usually reserved for Irish dockworkers. In our world, she's the woman that got the pope to endorse red wine.

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Jack: [In Elevator] Did you hear that?
Nick Naylor: [pause] No.
Jack: Exactly.

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Bobby Jay Bliss: The way I heard it, D.C. police found you naked, laying in Lincoln's crotch, covered in nicotine patches with a sign across your chest that said...
Polly Bailey: He doesn't need to hear the details.
Bobby Jay Bliss: It was some pretty fucked up shit.
Polly Bailey: Shh!

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Joey Naylor: [whispers to Nick as he comes to speak to Joey's class about his job] Please don't ruin my childhood.

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Nick Naylor: [Narrating] The man's a genius; he could disprove gravity.

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Nick Naylor: [Narrating] Bobby Jay works for S.A.F.E.T.Y., the Society for the Advancement of Firearms and Effective Training for Youth. After watching the footage of the Kent State shootings, Bobby Jay, then seventeen, signed up for the National Guard so that he too could shoot college students. But, the National Guard recruiter was out to lunch, so Bobby Jay ended up shooting

Panamanians instead. Which is almost as fun as shooting college students, only they shoot back.

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Joey Naylor: You're The Sultan of Spin!
Nick Naylor: [in the kitchen of his apartment] "The Sultan of Spin"?
Joey Naylor: Mom subscribes to Newsweek.

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Joey Naylor: [referring to Heather] Why did you tell that reporter all your secrets?
Nick Naylor: [in the kitchen in his apartment home] You're too young to understand.
Joey Naylor: Mom says it's because you have dependency issues and it was all just a matter of time before you threw it all away on some tramp.
Nick

Naylor: Well, that's one theory.

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Joey Naylor: Mom, why can't I go to California?
Jill Naylor: [while cooking him breakfast] Because, California's just not a safe place. And besides, I'm not sure it's appropriate for your father to bring you on a business trip.
Joey Naylor: Appropriate for who?
Jill Naylor: What?
Joey

Naylor: Mom, is it possible that you're taking the frustration of your failed marriage out on me?
Jill Naylor: Excuse me?
Joey Naylor: This California trip seems like a great learning opportunity and a chance for me to get to know my father. But if you think it's more important to use me to channel your frustration against the man you no

longer love, I'll understand.

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

[From trailer]
Jack: Okay, I'm gonna bring your dad in now. Is there anything I can get you, like an orange juice, or a coffee, or a Red Bull?
Joey Naylor: No, thanks.
Jack: Okay.
[High fives Joey]

Thank You for Smoking
Thank You for Smoking

Heather Holloway: [to Nick] My other interviews have pinned you as a mass murderer, blood sucker, pimp, profiteer and my personal favorite, yuppie Mephistopheles.