Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street Quotes

Judge Turpin: How seldom it is one meets a fellow spirit.
Sweeney Todd: With fellow tastes... in women at least.
Judge Turpin: [unsettled] What's that?
Sweeney Todd: The years, no doubt, have changed me, sir. But then I suppose the face of a barber, the face of a prisoner in the dock, is not particularly

memorable.
Judge Turpin: [with immense shock] Benjamin... Barker...
Sweeney Todd: [shouts] Benjamin Barker!

Mrs. Lovett: [Sweeney Todd enters Mrs. Lovett's Pie Shop] A customer!
Mrs. Lovett: [starts singing] Wait! What's your rush? / What's your hurry? / You gave me such a... / Fright. I thought you was a ghost. / Half a minute, can'tcha? / Sit! Sit you down! Sit! / All I meant is that I / Haven't seen a customer for weeks. / Did you come in for a pie, sir? / Do

forgive me if me head's a little vague... / What is that? / But you'd think we had the plague... / From the way people... / Keep avoiding... / No you don't! / Heaven knows I try, sir! / But there's no one comes in even to inhale... / Right you are, sir. Would you like a drop of ale? / Mind you, I can't hardly blame them.

Sweeney Todd: "Don't I know you?" she said. You knew she lived!
Mrs. Lovett: I was only thinking of you!
Sweeney Todd: [angry] You lied to me!
Mrs. Lovett: [sings] No, no, not lied at all! / No, I never lied!
Sweeney Todd: [sings] Lucy...
Mrs. Lovett: Said she

took the poison, she did, / Never said that she died. / Poor thing, she lived...
Sweeney Todd: [in unison] I've come home again...
Mrs. Lovett: But it left her weak in the head, / All she did for months was just lie there in bed...
Sweeney Todd: [unison] Lucy...
Mrs. Lovett: Should've been in hospital,

Wound up in Bedlam instead, / Poor thing!
Sweeney Todd: [unison] Oh, my God...!
Mrs. Lovett: Better you should think she was dead. / Yes, I lied 'cause I love you!
Sweeney Todd: [unison] Lucy!
Mrs. Lovett: I'd be twice the wife she was!
Sweeney Todd: [in unison] What have I

done?
Mrs. Lovett: [in unison] I love you! Could that *thing* have cared for you like me?
[he turns toward Mrs. Lovett in anger]
Sweeney Todd: Mrs. Lovett, / You're a bloody wonder, / Eminently practical and yet / Appropriate as always. / As you've said repeatedly, / There's little point in dwelling on the past!
Mrs.

Lovett: Do you mean it?
Sweeney Todd: [in unison] No, come here, my love... / Not a thing to fear, my love...
Mrs. Lovett: [in unison] Everything I did, / I swear, / I thought / Was only for the best!
Sweeney Todd: [in unison] What's dead is dead!
Mrs. Lovett: [in unison] Believe me! Can we

still be married?

Judge Turpin: Oh yes... such practices. The Geishas of Japan, the concubines of Siam, the catamites of Greece, the harlots of India. I have them all here, drawings of them. Everything you've ever dreamed of doing with a woman. Would you like to see?
Anthony Hope: I think there's been some mistake.
Judge Turpin: I think not. You

gandered at my ward, Johanna. You gandered at her. YES, sir, you gandered!
Anthony Hope: I meant no harm.
Judge Turpin: Your meaning is immaterial. Mark me! If I see your face again on this street, you'll rue the day you were born.

Signor Adolfo Pirelli: [singing] I am Adolfo Pirelli, da king of da barbers, da barber of kings, e buon giorno, good day. I blow you a kiss! And I, the so famous Pirelli, I wish-a to know who has-a da nerve-a to say my Elixir is piss! Who says this?
Sweeney Todd: I do. I'm Mr. Sweeney Todd from Fleet Street. I have opened a bottle of Pirelli's Elixir and I

say to you, it is nothing but an errant fraud, concocted from piss and ink. And furthermore, "Signor", I have serviced no kings, yet I wager that I can shave a cheek with ten times more dexterity than any street mountebank.

Toby: [Toby invites customers to the pie shop; "God, That's Good" begins] Ladies and gentlemen, / May I have your attention, puh-lease? / Are your nostrils aquiver and tingling as well / At that delicate, luscious ambrosial smell? / Yes they are, I can tell. / Well, ladies and gentlemen, / That aroma enriching the breeze / Is like nothing compared to its succulen source, / As the

gourmets among you will tell you, of course. / Ladies and gentlemen, / You can't imagine the rapture in store... / Just inside of this door!
[Goes into the pie shop]
Toby: There you'll sample / Mrs. Lovett's meat pies, / Savory and sweet pies, / As you'll see. / You who eat pies, / Mrs. Lovett's meat pies / Conjure up the treat pies / Used to be!
Mrs.

Lovett: Toby!
Toby: Coming!
Mrs. Lovett: Ale there!
Toby: Right, mum!
Mrs. Lovett: Quick, now! / Nice to see you, dearie, / How have you been keeping? / Cor, me bones is weary! / Toby! One for the gentleman... / Hear the birdies cheeping - / Helps to keep it cheery... / Toby! / Throw the old

woman out! /... What's my secret? / Frankly, dear - forgive my candor - / Family secret, / All to do with herbs. / Things like being / Careful with your coriander, / That's what makes the gravy grander!

Sweeney Todd: [sung to his razor] You there, my friend... /Come, let me hold you...
Mrs. Lovett: [sung] I'm your friend too, Mr. Todd... /If you only knew, Mr Todd...
Sweeney Todd: Now, with a sigh / You grow warm in my hand.
Mrs. Lovett: [unison] Ooh, Mr. Todd, / You're warm in my hand.
Sweeney

Todd: My friend.
Mrs. Lovett: [unison] You've come home.
Sweeney Todd: My clever friend.
Mrs. Lovett: [unison] Always had a fondness for you, I did.

Mrs. Lovett: Mr. T, you didn't!
[looks into the chest, sees Pirelli's dead body and gasps. Shuts it]
Mrs. Lovett: You're barking mad! Killing a man what done ya no harm!
Sweeney Todd: [polishing his razor] He recognized me from the old days. Tried to blackmail me. Half me earnings.
Mrs. Lovett:

[relieved] Oh, well that's a different matter then. For a moment there I thought you lost your marbles.
[opens the chest again and stares]
Mrs. Lovett: Ugh! All that blood. Poor bugger. Oh well!
[looks through Pirelli's jacket before removing his money pouch and examining its contents]
Mrs. Lovett: Well, waste not, want not!

[tucks it into her bodice]

Mrs. Lovett: [placing a small pie on the counter] Here we are. Hot out of the oven.
Sweeney Todd: What is THAT?
Mrs. Lovett: [sings] It's priest. Have a little priest...
Sweeney Todd: [sings] Is it really good?
Mrs. Lovett: [sings] Sir, it's too good, at least. Then again, they don't

commit sins of the flesh... so it's pretty fresh.

Anthony Hope: You wait for him here. I'll return with a coach in less than half an hour. Don't worry no one'll recognize you. You're safe now.
Johanna: Safe? So we run away and then all our dreams come true?
Anthony Hope: I hope so.
Johanna: I've never had dreams. Only nightmares.
Anthony

Hope: Johanna... when we're free of this place, all the ghosts will go away.
Johanna: No, Anthony. They never go away.

Mrs. Lovett: [sings about Benjamin Barker] He had this wife, you see, / Pretty little thing. / Silly little nit / Had her chance for the moon on a string... / Poor thing. Poor thing. / There was this Judge, you see, / Wanted her like mad. / Every day he'd send her a flower, / But did she come down from her tower? / Sat up there and sobbed by the hour, / Poor fool. / Ah, but there

was worse yet to come... / Poor thing.