South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Kenny: Goodbye, you guys.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

[singing]
Stan: What would Brian Boitano do if he was here right now? / He'd make a plan and follow through, that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
Kyle: When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics skating for the Gold, / he did two salchows and a triple lutz while wearing a blindfold!
Cartman: When Brian Boitano was in the Alps fighting

grizzly bears / he used his magical fire breath and saved the maidens fair!
Stan, Kyle: So what would Brian Boitano do if he were here today? / I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two, that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
Cartman: I want this V-chip out of me. / It has stunted my vocabulary.
Kyle: And I just want my

mom to stop fighting everyone.
Stan: For Wendy I'll be an activist too, / 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
Stan, Kyle, Cartman: And what would Brian Boitano do? He'd call all the kids in town / and tell them to unite for truth, that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
[intermission]

Stan, Kyle, Cartman: When Brian Boitano traveled through time to the year 3010, / he fought the evil robot king and saved the human race again!
Cartman: And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids he beat up Kublai Khan!
Stan, Kyle, Cartman: 'Cause

Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from anybody! / So let's call all the kids together / and unite to stop our moms. / And we'll save Terrance and Philip too, 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do! / And we'll save Terrance and Philip too, 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do! / 'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Terrence: [after singing and a few seconds of silence] Suck my balls

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Satan: How come you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else?
Saddam Hussein: Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli?

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Cartman: Mom? If you were in a German "scheisse" video, you... you'd tell me, right?
[short pause]
Mrs. Cartman: Sure, hon.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Kyle: Hey, Mole, be careful.
The Mole: Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a clothes hanger while I was still in the womb?
Stan: Man, that kid is fucked up!

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Cartman: [singing] Well, Kyle's mom is a big, fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls. / On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch, on Wedensday and Saturday she's a bitch. Then on Sunday, just to be different, she's a super king kamehameha bee-utch. / Have you ever

met my friend Kyle's mom? She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. She's a stupid bitch and she has stupid hair, she's a big big big big big big bitch. / Bitch bitch bitch bitch, she's a stupid bitch. Kyle's mom's a bitch, and she's such a stupid bitch./Talk to kids around the world, it might go a little bit something like this!
[sings in mock foreign languages]

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Kyle: Let me have some candy, Cartman.
Cartman: Let's see, hmm, nope, I don't have any Jewish candy.
Kyle: Fine! Like you really need all that chocolate, fat boy!

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Kenny's Mom: Well, fine. You go ahead and miss church and then when you die and go to hell, you can answer to Satan!
Kenny: [pauses] Okay!

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Army General: [shouting] You told us that windows 98 would be faster, and more efficient with better access to the internet!
Bill Gates: It IS faster! Over five million...
[General shoots Bill Gates and everyone cheers]

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Cartman: See, it doesn't hurt anyone! Fuck, fuckety, fuck, fuck, fuck.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

[hearing Terrence and Phillip say "donkey raping shit eater"]
Ike: Dopey pappy sheet eater.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Brian Dennehy: Did someone say my name?
Stan: Who are you?
Brian Dennehy: I'm Brian Dennehy.
Kyle: What? No, not fuckin' Brian Dennehy!
Stan: Get the fuck out of here!
Brian Dennehy: Oh. Bye.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Saddam Hussein: Ya like that, don't ya, bitch?

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

[for no reason]
Eric Cartman: I hate you Kenny.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Brooke Shields: I once farted on the set of Blue Lagoon.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Newscaster: It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by a pack of wild boars and the world is still glad to be rid of him.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Stan: Wait, before we put a message out, do a search on the word clitoris.
Kyle: Hmm OK Found: 8,000,000 pages found with the word clitoris.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

[at a spelling bee]
Teacher: The word is "forensics".
Kid: Ah, fuck that. Why should we fucking have to spell forensics?
[cheers from kids in audience]
Kid: S-U-C-K-M-Y-A-S-S. Forensics.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

Big Gay Al: Bombs are flying, people are dying, children are crying, politicians are lying too. Cancer is killing, Texaco's spilling, the whole world's gone to hell, but how are you?
[singing]
Big Gay Al: I'm super! Thanks for asking!