Good barbecue has to fall off the bone when you grab it, and, to me, it's not pull-hard chewy.
Take my gay-hairdresser routine. You'll let your hairdresser say things to you that you wouldn't let your parents say. My hairdresser will say the funniest things, so I asked him if I could put him in my routine - you know, make fun of him in a good way. He said, 'Oh, mention my name, mention my name!'
I'm under stress. They killed me on wikipedia. They killed me. And I didn't stay dead long enough to sell no DVDs. I didn't even stay dead long enough - I was too stupid. I should've stayed low. I should've laid low. I could've been gone for a year; I'd have made money. And then I'd have risen from the dead.
Who the heck is Donald Trump to fire me? I regret I didn't tell Donald Trump, 'You need to fire your barber. I'm sorry. I ain't feeling you, man. You're fired! I fire you, Donald Trump.'
I spent money, and I kept thinking, 'I get one more movie and I'll wipe these bills out,' but that movie never came. That black pride, I said, 'Man, I'm going to hang in there, I'm going to pay these bills.' So you owe a million dollars. 'I can pay that.' OK, fines, fees, now you owe two and a half million. 'But I didn't do nothin'!'
I never should have done 'Celebrity Apprentice.' I didn't want to do it because I didn't want Donald Trump to say, 'You're fired.'
Most entertainers start at a young age saying, 'I don't want to be normal. I don't want a regular job.'... I think that's something that's innate.
Most of us have this story of not feeling comfortable because of how you were. Now they call it ADHD. I just knew I bounced all over the place. I'm glad I had ADHD... It's what makes us creative.
Here's the thing about Apple, we complain and they give us more battery life. We complain and they'll give us more stuff. Everything's beta right now. Everything's experimental. They really don't know what people want.
Everyone wants me to do the comedy thing. But I always wanted to do action adventure. I want to be a guy like 007 who fights against the establishment. If they can make Bruce Willis believable as an action hero, I could do it, too.