Shrek 2 Quotes

[the king enters Puss' room; it is dark, and only Puss' eyes and boots are visible]
Puss-in-Boots: Who dares enter my room?
King: Sorry - I hope I'm not interrupting anything, but I was told that you are the one to handle an ogre problem.
Puss-in-Boots: You are told correct, but for this I charge a great deal of money.

King: Will this do?
[the king throws a bag full of money on the table; Puss opens it with his sword]
Puss-in-Boots: You have engaged my valuable services, Your Majesty. Just tell me where I can find this ogre.

Queen: So, Fiona. Tell us about where you live.
Princess Fiona: Well, Shrek owns his own land. Don't you, honey?
Shrek: Yes. It's in an... enchanted forest, abundant in squirrels, and cute little duckies...
Donkey: What?
[laughs]
Donkey: I know you ain't talking about the swamp.

Shrek: Donkey!
King: An ogre from a swamp. How original.
Queen: I guess that will be a fine place to raise the children.
[both Shrek and the King choke; Shrek coughs up his spoon]
Shrek: It's a little early to be thinking about that, isn't it?
King: Indeed! I just started

eating.

Princess Fiona: You're acting like a... a...
Shrek: Go on, say it.
Princess Fiona: Like an ogre!
Shrek: Well, guess what? Whether your parents like it or not, I *am* an ogre!
[roars at the dog to shut it up]
Shrek: And guess what, princess? That's not about to change.

Princess Fiona: I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that.
[she leaves]
Donkey: That's real smooth, Shrek. "I'm an ogre! Arrr!"

King: So I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be...
Shrek: Ogres! Yes!
Queen: Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?
King: Oh, no, no. Of course not! That's assuming you don't eat your own young!
Princess Fiona: Dad!
Shrek:

Oh, no, we usually prefer the ones who have been locked away in a tower!
Princess Fiona: Shrek, please!
King: I only did that because I love her!
Shrek: Oh, aye! Daycare or dragon-guarded castle!